Monday, April 14, 2008


My God, my day actually got worse! I went out with a close friend of X's that I had not seen for almost a year. He randomly came online and asked me if I wanted to grab some food with him. He just broke up with his girlfriend so he might have been projecting a bit but that doesn't excuse his behaviour.

He asked me to tell him the condensed version of what happened when I broke up with X. Which I proceeded to do. And then he was critical about how negative and bitter I am. I was honest about my version of events. I know that he heard X's version 4 years ago when it happened. He had the nerve to tell me that I wasn't over it. Obviously. I really can't figure out where this all came from. Why would he ask me out to lunch just to go on at me about how I'm such a bad person?

He didn't ask me about my relationships since then. He said I give off a negative vibe all the time. How every time he logs into MSN, my message is unhappy. For crying out loud, I'm a grad student! I'm stressed and hungry and exhausted all the time! I never post negative messages about relationships because I have no idea if Grey still has me on his MSN. I don't know why he thought I needed to hear this from him. I can handle the criticism. In fact, I absolutely agree with everything he said. I know I have issues. I know I'm not over X. And the situation with Grey is not improving my self-esteem.

But what's the rush? Why do I have to start dating right this very moment? Why can't I wait until I'm finished school? Isn't focusing on my thesis a legitimate reason for not wanting to deal with my issues immediately? Can't I learn how to be happy and single first? And why does he think it's okay for him to probe these issues? He's not my friend.

I wasn't expecting to have to deal with that this afternoon when I was already feeling so down about myself. Maybe he is angry with his ex girlfriend and took it out on me. I feel like he attacked me unnecessarily. And the thing that irks me most is that he had no constructive advice on how I can be a better person.

Big Mac told me not to let it get to me so after I post this, I will not think about it anymore. I won't hang out with him again. And I have decided to give myself 7 years to get over X. That means I'm half way there.

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