I was having lunch with an old friend in Soho (HK) today and I found out that the first guy I officially went on a date with is gay. Well, let's just say that I *officially* found out today that he has finally come out. I knew there was something horribly wrong when he held my hand at Toys 'R Us and it felt terrible. Or maybe it was McDonald's. That was a bright idea on the part of my then best friend. She just wanted me to come on a triple date with her and above-referenced lunch friend. Ugh, that entire afternoon still makes me shudder. I think I remember slow-dancing with him to Take My Breath Away at one of our school dances. That song always gives me the creeps but maybe now I will think back on it more fondly. I have added him to facebook so hopefully he doesn't hate me too much for being so repulsed by his attempts at affection. Poor guy. I should have been nicer to him. Perhaps my dating life since then has just been relationship karma for that fledgling experience. If only I had known then all the things I know now...
Ah well, lunch was fun and then I bought two pairs of shoes at Vickie's. Let me tell you, this might be my new favourite shoe store. They do custom shoes in 4 weeks. The styles and colours are fabulous and the prices are totally inexpensive. I wish I had more time here so I could go back and place an order. Next time. Someone please remind me!
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Life lessons
I had the lovely lady grad students over for fondue tonight and now I'm too tired to do anything except mention that it was a nice evening. I have a vat of chocolate fondue leftover though so I suspect fondue redux will ensue.
I learned a life lesson earlier this week and I would like to share it. I'm paraphrasing from Criminal Minds.
Of all places, I realized that in Superstore when I walked by the Cadbury creme egg display.
Several years ago, at Easter, I set up a little Easter Egg hunt for X. He loved those little creme eggs and I must have hidden a dozen of them around our apartment. He found most of them immediately but some he didn't find until summer. It was nice for me that he was so excited at the time, and continued to find nice little surprises months after we had both forgotten about creme eggs.
When I walked past the display, I smiled and laughed a little. I texted him to ask if he remembered. I didn't hear back but that's okay. It was nice to have an unexpected, happy NSA memory of a past relationship.
I learned a life lesson earlier this week and I would like to share it. I'm paraphrasing from Criminal Minds.
it does get easier and, one day, you remember and it doesn't hurt anymore... and you're happy.
Of all places, I realized that in Superstore when I walked by the Cadbury creme egg display.
Several years ago, at Easter, I set up a little Easter Egg hunt for X. He loved those little creme eggs and I must have hidden a dozen of them around our apartment. He found most of them immediately but some he didn't find until summer. It was nice for me that he was so excited at the time, and continued to find nice little surprises months after we had both forgotten about creme eggs.
When I walked past the display, I smiled and laughed a little. I texted him to ask if he remembered. I didn't hear back but that's okay. It was nice to have an unexpected, happy NSA memory of a past relationship.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Brass monkey
Holy Jeebus it's cold outside! I had lunch with a buddy, actually at his mother's place. I was originally supposed to have brunch with a friend who bails 90% of the time. I should have known she would bail today too. But I'm glad it worked out this way. I only see this buddy of mine a couple of times a year and last saw his mother when I was still with B. It was nice to see her again and we had waffles (yes, I ate waffles and now I need a nap) with apple slices and blue berries and strawberries and bacon! Mmm... bacon two days in a row :) Anyway, I literally drove up the street. Google Maps tells me it was 1.5 km. I was planning to walk but it's too damn cold. In the 90 seconds it took me to get to my car, the wind blew straight through my down jacket and my face froze off. I dropped my nose somewhere but it was too cold to go looking for it.
Anyway, I'm going to lie on the couch for the rest of the afternoon and pretend I'm in Aruba as the circulation returns to my tingly extremities. I'm almost done Season 2 of Mad Men. I anticipate going into 1960s withdrawal when that happens. Must download Season 3 for my between-offices-transfer hiatus.
Anyway, I'm going to lie on the couch for the rest of the afternoon and pretend I'm in Aruba as the circulation returns to my tingly extremities. I'm almost done Season 2 of Mad Men. I anticipate going into 1960s withdrawal when that happens. Must download Season 3 for my between-offices-transfer hiatus.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Going West
They called today about the job offer. They wanted to offer me the contract position. I declined because I am single, have one income keeping a roof over my head and would like to buy a more permanent roof over my head before I retire. I have no-one else to rely on for benefits or financial security. So I think I made the right decision.
I plan to accept the offer to move to BC next week, as soon as they have removed the clause about a 90-day probationary period. I anticipate this will not be a problem as I have been with the company for 8 years, almost 4 of which were in BC. I hope that is not a ridiculous assumption but I suppose I will find out.
In not entirely unrelated news, I hate new grocery stores. I wish all stores (at least all stores in a chain) were laid out the same way. But they aren't. I went in to Grey's usual store (because it's open 24 hours and on the way home from Baby's house) to buy juice, soy milk, yoghurt, noodles and bagels and it took me 3 circuits around the store. There were a ton of people doing inventory but nobody offered any assistance. Truth be told, I didn't ask because they all looked stoned. And then, of course, I had to bag my own crap using the self-serve check out. Apparently, if you leave your hand in the bag while you're scanning your items, the scanner doesn't work. Supremely fucked up. I think that I might hate all grocery stores right now.
It doesn't help that my stomach is killing me. Don't know why but I should go to bed.
I plan to accept the offer to move to BC next week, as soon as they have removed the clause about a 90-day probationary period. I anticipate this will not be a problem as I have been with the company for 8 years, almost 4 of which were in BC. I hope that is not a ridiculous assumption but I suppose I will find out.
In not entirely unrelated news, I hate new grocery stores. I wish all stores (at least all stores in a chain) were laid out the same way. But they aren't. I went in to Grey's usual store (because it's open 24 hours and on the way home from Baby's house) to buy juice, soy milk, yoghurt, noodles and bagels and it took me 3 circuits around the store. There were a ton of people doing inventory but nobody offered any assistance. Truth be told, I didn't ask because they all looked stoned. And then, of course, I had to bag my own crap using the self-serve check out. Apparently, if you leave your hand in the bag while you're scanning your items, the scanner doesn't work. Supremely fucked up. I think that I might hate all grocery stores right now.
It doesn't help that my stomach is killing me. Don't know why but I should go to bed.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Tea and ladies
Why don't men call when they say they're going to call? What is up with that? I hate it and I probably will never understand it. It frustrates me and I feel unloved, insignificant and neglected. Thank God for girlfriends and afternoon tea and tiny scones with devon cream and tea in teapots with teacups and saucers and strainers and all the dainty things that make me happy. Also, I am looking forward to copious amounts of alcohol tonight. (By copious, I mean two drinks).
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Wholly, entirely subjective
I'm having a better food day today than I have had in a long time (no thanks to work!) so I decided to blog about it.
Pre-breakfast: Sun Rype pressed apple juice. Yay BC :)
Breakfast: Decaf tall non-fat peppermint mocha. Okay fine it was a grande! But it's the only thing I love about Christmas.
Lunch: Pomegranate bran muffin, strawberry yoghurt, blueberries, raspberries.
Dinner: Salmon with dill and lemon, 350 degrees C in the toaster oven, approx. 20 mins; boiled green beans.
Dessert... brie and crackers, maybe? Maybe some chocolate digestives and milk.
This took planning and effort and, frankly, more time and energy than I have had in months. If only I could wake up every day without a headache and leave work at a reasonable hour (7 pm tonight). My tummy is happy today.
Oh, on a somewhat related note, I also had enough energy to wax my left leg. It was so ogopogo-hairy, though, that it hurt like a beyotch and now I'm too scared to do my right one. Maybe I'll save that one for tomorrow night!
Pre-breakfast: Sun Rype pressed apple juice. Yay BC :)
Breakfast: Decaf tall non-fat peppermint mocha. Okay fine it was a grande! But it's the only thing I love about Christmas.
Lunch: Pomegranate bran muffin, strawberry yoghurt, blueberries, raspberries.
Dinner: Salmon with dill and lemon, 350 degrees C in the toaster oven, approx. 20 mins; boiled green beans.
Dessert... brie and crackers, maybe? Maybe some chocolate digestives and milk.
This took planning and effort and, frankly, more time and energy than I have had in months. If only I could wake up every day without a headache and leave work at a reasonable hour (7 pm tonight). My tummy is happy today.
Oh, on a somewhat related note, I also had enough energy to wax my left leg. It was so ogopogo-hairy, though, that it hurt like a beyotch and now I'm too scared to do my right one. Maybe I'll save that one for tomorrow night!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Mmmm coffeeee
My thing right now is Starbucks' Christmas lattes. Specifically, the peppermint white mocha. Now normally, I am not a fan of flavoured anything. My usual is a decaf tall non-fat vanilla extra hot latte. I choose vanilla over sugar. It's marginally better for you. But I decided to try the pumpkin spice latte and wow was that ever yummy. So, when Christmas lattes came out, I decided to be a little less Scrooge and a little more adventurous. I gotta say, the gingerbread latte and the creme brulee latte are just gross. Gross, gross, GROSS! But the peppermint with chocolate and coffee and whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles.... party in my mouth people! Merry holidays :)
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
2^ 5 has been the best birthday ever
I just had the best birthday ever. MFV phoned at 11.30 to wish me a happy almost birthday and we probably talked for a couple of hours about stuff and stuff. It was tough to get up in the morning but it sorta felt like Christmas - minus that whole having to go to work thing. I got my free birthday latte from Starbucks - yay! - and my coworkers took me out to lunch which was so surprising and really nice. I really did not expect that at all. I even brought my lunch today which I NEVER do.
In the afternoon, I met up with my financial advisor. That was my birthday present to myself. I didn't lose as much as I thought in the last couple of years. Only around 4 or 5% of my portfolio. This was due to sheer dumb luck. When I last saw her in 2007, I had intended to buy a place in 2008 so we moved a lot out of equity into money market. Then, because I didn't see her for 2 years, we never moved it back out and I weathered the storm quite nicely. Actually, I should give her more credit for that. I'm sure that if I had been too aggressive with my equity balance, she would have let me know. She also asked me about my target retirement age. Whether I was looking at 60 or 55. I laughed and said 55 would be nice but, considering that I'm 32 years old today and still don't own a house, I doubt I can do both. She said she would run some numbers and see what happens.
Then the girls came over this evening for dinner. Pink dress made vegetarian chili which is phenomenal. Our mutual friend brought wine and cheese, all of which were fabulous. She also brought over molten chocolate lava mini cakes. Oh lord. And my belly dance teacher brought herself and some cheery spirits. It was really nice. It was good to feel loved. Also, my facebook wall literally exploded today. It was really unexpected and overwhelming and touching to feel so much love in my life.
But the icing on my cake might have been unexpectedly receiving a gift in the mail from MFV. He mailed me a Moroccan teapot stuffed with chocolates from Daniel le chocolat Belge. And a really sweet card. I might be falling in love with that stupid boy.
In the afternoon, I met up with my financial advisor. That was my birthday present to myself. I didn't lose as much as I thought in the last couple of years. Only around 4 or 5% of my portfolio. This was due to sheer dumb luck. When I last saw her in 2007, I had intended to buy a place in 2008 so we moved a lot out of equity into money market. Then, because I didn't see her for 2 years, we never moved it back out and I weathered the storm quite nicely. Actually, I should give her more credit for that. I'm sure that if I had been too aggressive with my equity balance, she would have let me know. She also asked me about my target retirement age. Whether I was looking at 60 or 55. I laughed and said 55 would be nice but, considering that I'm 32 years old today and still don't own a house, I doubt I can do both. She said she would run some numbers and see what happens.
Then the girls came over this evening for dinner. Pink dress made vegetarian chili which is phenomenal. Our mutual friend brought wine and cheese, all of which were fabulous. She also brought over molten chocolate lava mini cakes. Oh lord. And my belly dance teacher brought herself and some cheery spirits. It was really nice. It was good to feel loved. Also, my facebook wall literally exploded today. It was really unexpected and overwhelming and touching to feel so much love in my life.
But the icing on my cake might have been unexpectedly receiving a gift in the mail from MFV. He mailed me a Moroccan teapot stuffed with chocolates from Daniel le chocolat Belge. And a really sweet card. I might be falling in love with that stupid boy.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Weekend stuff
Life has returned to regular programming, post-Convocation. Friday night was blustery and cold and raining cats and dogs. I bought a used lens from a guy off craigslist and then went for sushi and coffee with an ex-coworker. Saturday morning, I attempted to go the gym but was foiled because pilates was cancelled and I didn't have my running shoes or mp3 player (I'm the last person on the planet without an iPod) so I went to dim sum with my parents and the septuagenarians kids and newly adopted grandbaby. Then I baked some hazelnut butter crisp cookies and saw Charlie (his mom's birthday) and proceeded to get fat on condensed milk toast with the girls. And today was brunch at Tequila Bookworm, met a briard in the park, bizarre bazaar and Cirque du Soleil.
If you can see the show in Toronto, you should go. It's called oVo. It's my new favourite. It was as good as an orgasm. So remember, o for orgasm and oVo. In fact, it was better than an orgasm because I went with a girlfriend whose company I actually enjoy and we both went home with orgasms :) So.good. oVo, people. You should go.
If you can see the show in Toronto, you should go. It's called oVo. It's my new favourite. It was as good as an orgasm. So remember, o for orgasm and oVo. In fact, it was better than an orgasm because I went with a girlfriend whose company I actually enjoy and we both went home with orgasms :) So.good. oVo, people. You should go.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
My ribs are creaking
God, have I really not posted all week? It's been a long and crazy one. Not as crazy as some recent ones, but still long, despite being short. Our three day Thanksgiving weekend seems a distant memory now.
I attempted condensed milk toast with my girlfriends this evening. We started out with all-you-can-eat hot pot. My ribs are still creaking! Then we went to T&T (huge Chinese grocery store) and picked up milk toast and condensed milk. If you have never tried Taiwanese/HK-style condensed milk toast, go find yourself a reputable bubble tea place and indulge. It's like breakfast and dessert had a perfect baby. Anyway, it ended up being a long night but we had a good time and I haven't seen those two in ages. I wanted to talk to them about Vancouver but I couldn't find the right moment and didn't want to put a damper on the evening. I think I should probably talk to them separately. In person. Soon.
Anyway, I'm picking up keys to my septuagenarian friend's condo (parents are staying there for a couple of weeks), then hitting the gym and then Costco. Then hopefully lunch, camera research and a nap before birthday party in the evening. I'm already exhausted because of my stupid period so it's going to be a long day. My bed is calling out for me. Sleeeeep!
I attempted condensed milk toast with my girlfriends this evening. We started out with all-you-can-eat hot pot. My ribs are still creaking! Then we went to T&T (huge Chinese grocery store) and picked up milk toast and condensed milk. If you have never tried Taiwanese/HK-style condensed milk toast, go find yourself a reputable bubble tea place and indulge. It's like breakfast and dessert had a perfect baby. Anyway, it ended up being a long night but we had a good time and I haven't seen those two in ages. I wanted to talk to them about Vancouver but I couldn't find the right moment and didn't want to put a damper on the evening. I think I should probably talk to them separately. In person. Soon.
Anyway, I'm picking up keys to my septuagenarian friend's condo (parents are staying there for a couple of weeks), then hitting the gym and then Costco. Then hopefully lunch, camera research and a nap before birthday party in the evening. I'm already exhausted because of my stupid period so it's going to be a long day. My bed is calling out for me. Sleeeeep!
Monday, October 5, 2009
Anti-douchebag
MFV just left. We had a really great weekend. Not just because we had fun but because he is a really great guy. A good man. In fact, he is almost the man I need him to be. Amazing what three years can do to a 24 year old. Despite one long year of not speaking to each other (2007-2008), our friendship has stayed tight. I rely on him like nobody else and, this weekend, I realized what it means to have a man around who is capable of being a grown up. He took care of me which felt so good. He helped me make decisions. He was quiet when I disappeared into my thoughts. He was protective and thoughtful and responsible and considerate. I want that from a man, and the douchebags, while entertaining, pale in comparison to him.
For three years, I have missed him and loved him like my best friend. Because that's what he is. But today, I might have started to fall in love with him. Which scares me to death because I don't really know how he feels about me. He looks at me like he really sees me. He makes me laugh without really trying which is not easy with my nerdy sense of humour. I can be myself around him and it is nice not to have to keep my guard up all the time. He can even see beyond the face I present to the world to the sensitive, vulnerable person that I am hiding from everyone. It has been a long time since I could spend 48 hours with someone and not feel exhausted by their company. Which is not to say the weekend wasn't thoroughly exhausting.
Dinner on Friday at Ruth Chris to celebrate his raise and my degree was amazing. Then salsa dancing with Baby and Delorean at El Rancho. My former salsa partner has improved vastly and I frankly couldn't get enough of him. I could have danced all night...
When we got home, he kissed me and I freaked out and we talked. We talked about the past and our futures and decided that there's nothing wrong with friends fooling around. It was nice, actually. Okay, the sex wasn't mind blowing the way that it is with Grey but MFV has only been with three other women. Counting him, I am into double digits. I wonder if he will be my last.
Saturday was brunch and the Ontario Science Centre. We're a pair of giant nerds and had a really good time. Dinner at the Host with friends and then Nuit Blanche. I'll post photos later. We stayed up til 4 am walking all over downtown before my legs gave up outside the Art Gallery. We had dim sum this morning and then read the paper and had dinner on the way to the airport.
I cried when he left. I don't know if I'm just tired and overwhelmed or if this is just a passing emotional phase. I miss him. I hope we end up in geographically closer cities. I know that the ideal situation in the short-term would be here for me and NYC for him. But long-term, maybe it's better if we're both in Vancouver. Who the hell knows what he is thinking though? I suspect that I'm more than a long distance booty call but I have been wrong in the past.
He's back from Morocco at the end of October. In the meantime, I have some decisions to make about work.
For three years, I have missed him and loved him like my best friend. Because that's what he is. But today, I might have started to fall in love with him. Which scares me to death because I don't really know how he feels about me. He looks at me like he really sees me. He makes me laugh without really trying which is not easy with my nerdy sense of humour. I can be myself around him and it is nice not to have to keep my guard up all the time. He can even see beyond the face I present to the world to the sensitive, vulnerable person that I am hiding from everyone. It has been a long time since I could spend 48 hours with someone and not feel exhausted by their company. Which is not to say the weekend wasn't thoroughly exhausting.
Dinner on Friday at Ruth Chris to celebrate his raise and my degree was amazing. Then salsa dancing with Baby and Delorean at El Rancho. My former salsa partner has improved vastly and I frankly couldn't get enough of him. I could have danced all night...
When we got home, he kissed me and I freaked out and we talked. We talked about the past and our futures and decided that there's nothing wrong with friends fooling around. It was nice, actually. Okay, the sex wasn't mind blowing the way that it is with Grey but MFV has only been with three other women. Counting him, I am into double digits. I wonder if he will be my last.
Saturday was brunch and the Ontario Science Centre. We're a pair of giant nerds and had a really good time. Dinner at the Host with friends and then Nuit Blanche. I'll post photos later. We stayed up til 4 am walking all over downtown before my legs gave up outside the Art Gallery. We had dim sum this morning and then read the paper and had dinner on the way to the airport.
I cried when he left. I don't know if I'm just tired and overwhelmed or if this is just a passing emotional phase. I miss him. I hope we end up in geographically closer cities. I know that the ideal situation in the short-term would be here for me and NYC for him. But long-term, maybe it's better if we're both in Vancouver. Who the hell knows what he is thinking though? I suspect that I'm more than a long distance booty call but I have been wrong in the past.
He's back from Morocco at the end of October. In the meantime, I have some decisions to make about work.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
I need some advice
I had dinner with Pink Dress today and her car died when she arrived at my place. She phoned her mechanic and invited him to dinner with us. This is the same guy that called me chubby and blonde last October.
I thought I could pretend to be fine for a couple of hours but I don't think I can ever spend time with both of them together again. I'm still really hurt by what he said and he set me back light years with those comments. I know that he means nothing to me and I should just discard his opinion but I just can't get his words out of my head. I was so self-conscious of everything I ate at dinner tonight that I couldn't finish my meal.
I'm not sure if I should tell Pink Dress that I don't ever want to see him again or just forget it. The worst part is that she seems to think that he has a thing for me and there is no way in hell that I can purposely spend time with someone whose mere presence reinforces my neuroses about my low self-esteem and weight and food issues. Am I being insane?
Update: Grey, our mutual friend and MFV all told me I should tell her so I just sent her this email.
Okay, I don't know how to say this so I'm just going to come right out with it.
I know the mechanic is your good friend but I can't hang out with him again. When you said you had invited him to dinner, I thought I would be fine with it but it turns out I'm still not over him calling me chubby and blonde last October. I realize these are my neuroses and he probably had no idea that he would touch on such a sensitive issue. I'm sorry, I know he's good to you. But I really have to assert myself on this one. I was really uncomfortable last night and that makes me unhappy because I was looking forward to catching up with you. Do-over on Saturday?
I thought I could pretend to be fine for a couple of hours but I don't think I can ever spend time with both of them together again. I'm still really hurt by what he said and he set me back light years with those comments. I know that he means nothing to me and I should just discard his opinion but I just can't get his words out of my head. I was so self-conscious of everything I ate at dinner tonight that I couldn't finish my meal.
I'm not sure if I should tell Pink Dress that I don't ever want to see him again or just forget it. The worst part is that she seems to think that he has a thing for me and there is no way in hell that I can purposely spend time with someone whose mere presence reinforces my neuroses about my low self-esteem and weight and food issues. Am I being insane?
Update: Grey, our mutual friend and MFV all told me I should tell her so I just sent her this email.
Okay, I don't know how to say this so I'm just going to come right out with it.
I know the mechanic is your good friend but I can't hang out with him again. When you said you had invited him to dinner, I thought I would be fine with it but it turns out I'm still not over him calling me chubby and blonde last October. I realize these are my neuroses and he probably had no idea that he would touch on such a sensitive issue. I'm sorry, I know he's good to you. But I really have to assert myself on this one. I was really uncomfortable last night and that makes me unhappy because I was looking forward to catching up with you. Do-over on Saturday?
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Couch to 5K - Item 3 on the Shawshank List
I went to the gym today. It's on my bucket list (which is actually more of a Shawshank list) and I decided I needed some motivation so I Googled Couch to 5K and found Carli's website with some running playlists. I downloaded Week 1 and it is really great. It helped me get to the gym, kept me on the treadmill and I was actually disappointed when it was over! I am not exactly new to running but I have neglected the gym for the past two months. I just figured that, if I had enough energy to work out, I should be working on my thesis instead, right? Anyway, it felt good to go back to the gym and the workout was pretty straightforward. I won't say it was easy but it wasn't too challenging and I'm looking forward to going to the gym for the rest of this week.
This is not entirely an altruistic goal. I'm going to Mexico for a week next Sunday and the thought of standing next to 20-something-year old bikini clad bodies is excruciatingly intimidating. Now that I find myself in my 30s, I definitely have better self-esteem and that translates into better body image. I have some problem areas which I never had in my 20s but gravity and stress and age have taken their toll. So I'm working on the abs, the shoulders and triceps and overall cardio this week.
The hard part will be to eat better. I went out for Indian in Yorkville last night and ended up painfully full. I walked home but was still uncomfortable after the chilly evening half-hour walk. Then, this afternoon, I had high tea (again in Yorkville, my credit cards are weeping) and walked home again. I no longer stuff myself at tea because of my egg allergy but I did inhale a lot of cream and scones. God, so yummy. It was a party in my mouth this weekend. (Friday night was bubbles and fondue with the grad students followed by a tiny bit of bar hopping in Little Italy).
The final part of the plan is to run a 5K in November at the end of the 9 week program. Ontario is going to be mighty chilly at that time of year so maybe I should look for a run in Vancouver. Or the Caribbean somewhere :) I haven't fully thought that through yet but I will have a lot more free brain power now that the thesis is done.
Here is the rest of my Shawshank list:
1. Read the paper
2. Make dim sum
3. Go to the gym -- check!
4. Go to the library
5. Go to my favourite restaurant in Little Italy
6. Clean apartment -- check!
7. Purge stuff in "office"
8. Sell microwave
9. Sell U2 tickets
10. Go to the movies (at least two)
11. Start watching Entourage
12. Lie on the grass - it's getting too cold for this :(
13. Look into fall classes (culinary, photography, Italian)
14. Watch documentaries and nap
15. Take new drug plan info to pharmacy (yes, boring but it needs to be done)
This is not entirely an altruistic goal. I'm going to Mexico for a week next Sunday and the thought of standing next to 20-something-year old bikini clad bodies is excruciatingly intimidating. Now that I find myself in my 30s, I definitely have better self-esteem and that translates into better body image. I have some problem areas which I never had in my 20s but gravity and stress and age have taken their toll. So I'm working on the abs, the shoulders and triceps and overall cardio this week.
The hard part will be to eat better. I went out for Indian in Yorkville last night and ended up painfully full. I walked home but was still uncomfortable after the chilly evening half-hour walk. Then, this afternoon, I had high tea (again in Yorkville, my credit cards are weeping) and walked home again. I no longer stuff myself at tea because of my egg allergy but I did inhale a lot of cream and scones. God, so yummy. It was a party in my mouth this weekend. (Friday night was bubbles and fondue with the grad students followed by a tiny bit of bar hopping in Little Italy).
The final part of the plan is to run a 5K in November at the end of the 9 week program. Ontario is going to be mighty chilly at that time of year so maybe I should look for a run in Vancouver. Or the Caribbean somewhere :) I haven't fully thought that through yet but I will have a lot more free brain power now that the thesis is done.
Here is the rest of my Shawshank list:
1. Read the paper
2. Make dim sum
3. Go to the gym -- check!
4. Go to the library
5. Go to my favourite restaurant in Little Italy
6. Clean apartment -- check!
7. Purge stuff in "office"
8. Sell microwave
9. Sell U2 tickets
10. Go to the movies (at least two)
11. Start watching Entourage
12. Lie on the grass - it's getting too cold for this :(
13. Look into fall classes (culinary, photography, Italian)
14. Watch documentaries and nap
15. Take new drug plan info to pharmacy (yes, boring but it needs to be done)
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Defense T minus 11
Defense is on August 27 at 2 pm. I am starting to feel overwhelmed and stressed and anxious. Really, the thing that worries me most is the unpredictability of questions. Everything else will be okay provided I spend every spare second of every day between now and then preparing thoroughly. I have to finish my presentation before Thursday which is when I will be doing a run-through with my supervisors. Then I have another week to think of and prepare answers to questions. Basically, anything I wrote in 150+ pages is up for debate. I'm scared.
I took yesterday off to decompress with the other grad students. We had brunch at Watermark in the Harbourfront Centre and ended up at the beach at Ward Island which was actually not completely disgusting. We may go back in two weekends when we're done with our defenses. In the evening, we ordered pizza and had a drink and bitched and moaned and complained about school and thesis supervisors. It was fun and I might even miss these girls when we're done. I probably won't see them again after convocation.
Meanwhile, Grey went here last night. http://www.wickedclub.com/
I don't know how much more of his crap I can take. I know that I have been saying that for the last year and a half but I'm starting to feel used and abused. Underappreciated and taken advantage of. It's wearing me down slowly. Well, maybe when the thesis is over, I will welcome the drama back into my life.
Speaking of drama, MFV might come visit at the end of September on his way to Morocco. While I want to go with him to Morocco, I'm not sure if our friendship can stand this test of real life exposure. I haven't seen him in 3 years. I don't know if he knows what he wants from me but I'm tired of guys flip flopping between wanting to be with me and not wanting to be with me. Don't I deserve to be with a man who knows what he wants? I guess I will wait to worry about him until I see a flight number.
Also, that place I didn't make an offer on? It sold for more than $30K above asking. It appears I can't actually afford to buy the type of place I want in this godforsaken city. It has been a bad news day all around.
I took yesterday off to decompress with the other grad students. We had brunch at Watermark in the Harbourfront Centre and ended up at the beach at Ward Island which was actually not completely disgusting. We may go back in two weekends when we're done with our defenses. In the evening, we ordered pizza and had a drink and bitched and moaned and complained about school and thesis supervisors. It was fun and I might even miss these girls when we're done. I probably won't see them again after convocation.
Meanwhile, Grey went here last night. http://www.wickedclub.com/
I don't know how much more of his crap I can take. I know that I have been saying that for the last year and a half but I'm starting to feel used and abused. Underappreciated and taken advantage of. It's wearing me down slowly. Well, maybe when the thesis is over, I will welcome the drama back into my life.
Speaking of drama, MFV might come visit at the end of September on his way to Morocco. While I want to go with him to Morocco, I'm not sure if our friendship can stand this test of real life exposure. I haven't seen him in 3 years. I don't know if he knows what he wants from me but I'm tired of guys flip flopping between wanting to be with me and not wanting to be with me. Don't I deserve to be with a man who knows what he wants? I guess I will wait to worry about him until I see a flight number.
Also, that place I didn't make an offer on? It sold for more than $30K above asking. It appears I can't actually afford to buy the type of place I want in this godforsaken city. It has been a bad news day all around.
Friday, July 10, 2009
My first husband
I left the dog with the other wheatens today and went with my friend to have dinner with her brother and his girlfriend at Fionn McCool's on the Esplanade. While there, my friend struck up a conversation with an Irish man at the next table. At the end of the night, just as we were leaving to get the dogs, he announced to his table of friends that I was his second wife. I just didn't know it yet. It was funny. He is a 54 year old detective in the "interesting" and busiest part of Toronto. I have nothing in common with him. In fact, my friend and he had much more in common: a love of Irish history, music and trivia. But it was nice to have an older man tell me that I am lovely :)
Thursday, July 9, 2009
More puppy crap
We walked and played a lot today. Slinky came by to play too. We went to the park and threw the ball around and almost played with the other dogs. There were a lot more dogs today than there were yesterday. And then we walked to the grocery store and Slinky bought dinner and then we came home and she cooked me dinner! It was great. Puppy is finally tired so I think I'm doing something right. Although he has been very poopy the last couple of days. I'm not sure if it's all the twigs he has been chewing on in the park. Even when I throw his ball, he goes running for it but then finds a branch and pounces on that instead. At least he's having fun. I feel bad that he's so matted and dirty. I'm tempted to take him to the groomer so that we don't have to deal with his scruffiness and smelliness for the next three days. But that stuff is not cheap. Anyway, it's so great to see big good looking men with cute little dogs. There was one guy with a tiny little boxer puppy. Man, was she ever cute. She had his eyes :)
Monday, June 22, 2009
An inch might as well be a mile
Okay, I'm not mopey and forlorn anymore. The pity party is over. I slept last night. Which is weird for a Sunday night. I can't remember the last time I slept on a Sunday night. But I woke up this morning feeling refreshed. Weird. Then I spent most of the day at work thesising. Ssssh don't tell anyone. And I spent all day looking forward to my first belly dancing class. This is something I have wanted to do for some time now but I wanted my friend to teach me. I better come up with a name for her....
Slinky.
I wanted Slinky to be the one to teach me. She is an amazing dancer and has been doing the belly dance thing for years. She performs on weekends (in addition to holding down a full-time day job) and she is good. She's not dirty or skanky like a lot of belly dancers you see performing in restaurants or festivals. She is graceful and beautiful and she has a sort of childish innocence that isn't naive at all. I'm not doing justice to her art form. Anyway, I wanted her to be my teacher. So when she phoned me last week to say she was teaching a beginner class, I signed up on the spot. $135 for 8 weeks from 7 to 8 pm on Monday nights. I'm so excited. Fortunately I have years of classical dance training (ballet and bharatnatyam) not to mention salsa and ballroom and swing to build on so I'm not starting totally from scratch. Did I mention that I'm excited?
Anyway, I was going somewhere with this post. I have mostly learned to be somewhat happy with the way that my body looks. I'm never going to be skinny (again) and I work out to feel strong and healthy. I have a few goals, some of which I actively work towards. Like being able to touch my toes. And holding downward dog without wanting to fall on my head. And running without breaking my knees. I would love to be able to do a headstand or a cartwheel again. Or even Bakasana with my feet off the floor.
But you know what I would really love? I would love to lose an inch off my waist. I should stop participating in free ice cream day at the office. And maybe not eat a garlic pretzel at 9 pm. (Oh the plus side, no vampires in my house toight!). But I love food. I'm thinking about dedicating my thesis to Pillsbury brownies in a tube.
Slinky.
I wanted Slinky to be the one to teach me. She is an amazing dancer and has been doing the belly dance thing for years. She performs on weekends (in addition to holding down a full-time day job) and she is good. She's not dirty or skanky like a lot of belly dancers you see performing in restaurants or festivals. She is graceful and beautiful and she has a sort of childish innocence that isn't naive at all. I'm not doing justice to her art form. Anyway, I wanted her to be my teacher. So when she phoned me last week to say she was teaching a beginner class, I signed up on the spot. $135 for 8 weeks from 7 to 8 pm on Monday nights. I'm so excited. Fortunately I have years of classical dance training (ballet and bharatnatyam) not to mention salsa and ballroom and swing to build on so I'm not starting totally from scratch. Did I mention that I'm excited?
Anyway, I was going somewhere with this post. I have mostly learned to be somewhat happy with the way that my body looks. I'm never going to be skinny (again) and I work out to feel strong and healthy. I have a few goals, some of which I actively work towards. Like being able to touch my toes. And holding downward dog without wanting to fall on my head. And running without breaking my knees. I would love to be able to do a headstand or a cartwheel again. Or even Bakasana with my feet off the floor.
But you know what I would really love? I would love to lose an inch off my waist. I should stop participating in free ice cream day at the office. And maybe not eat a garlic pretzel at 9 pm. (Oh the plus side, no vampires in my house toight!). But I love food. I'm thinking about dedicating my thesis to Pillsbury brownies in a tube.
Weekend Blogorrhea
I haven't written anything because I really don't have anything to write. I spent this weekend alternately sleeping and feeling nauseated. I must be fighting off the flu or something. I went out for Korean BBQ on Friday night and followed it up with bubble tea and ice cream cake. Birthdays. Ugh. Then Saturday, I slept until 12.30, thesised until 4.30 and then slept until 6.30. I ate nothing for most of the day and went out for Thai for another birthday dinner. It was horribly awkward for me. I didn't know anyone except the birthday boy and spent the entire time waiting for 9 pm to roll around so I could leave. Today I slept until 2.30 pm! Pretended to work (but reading this blog) until 7 and went over to A's parents house so they could feed me. Unfortunately I couldn't finish my food because I felt queasy. Serves me right for only eating Cheetos all day, I guess. Oh yeah, I also spent some time crying last night. I don't really recall why. I mean, it must have been because of Grey. I happen to know he was watching a movie with a friend and I was watching a movie alone. Oh right, I was watching Pretty Woman. Insomniac. Alone on the couch. With a chick flick. Great. My life is meaningless and empty. Now I remember why I haven't written anything all week.
Monday, May 18, 2009
No Right Answers
I spent all day yesterday being exhausted and stressed. Then I spent all day being stressed. Then he called and now I feel better. We talked for an hour and he seemed honest and sincere and I was reassured by the fact that he didn't pretend to have all the answers. I don't know what will happen but I'm prepared to wait and see. Maybe it will be nothing. Maybe it will be something. Maybe it will be in between.
We might go for a walk tomorrow night when he gets back into town.
I went over to X's parents house for dinner tonight. Whenever someone asks me what my favourite food is, I think "X's mom's cooking". I used to tell people that when we were together but now it would just sound silly. But that woman has magic fingers. Everything she makes tastes yummy and I can't seem to reproduce it. I'm probably lacking TLC. Anyway, we had roast beef and popovers. Do you know what a popover is? Yummy, eggy, goodness which just happens to be hell to my digestive system. Whatever. I ate two. TWO! It was totally worth it.
We might go for a walk tomorrow night when he gets back into town.
I went over to X's parents house for dinner tonight. Whenever someone asks me what my favourite food is, I think "X's mom's cooking". I used to tell people that when we were together but now it would just sound silly. But that woman has magic fingers. Everything she makes tastes yummy and I can't seem to reproduce it. I'm probably lacking TLC. Anyway, we had roast beef and popovers. Do you know what a popover is? Yummy, eggy, goodness which just happens to be hell to my digestive system. Whatever. I ate two. TWO! It was totally worth it.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Escape from the pubicles
Tonight I discovered six more reasons to stay in Ontario after I am done school. I have some really great coworkers. They happen to all be women around my age. We went out for dinner and it was fun. I hope they feel the same way too. In general, not about me. That would be lame and sappy.
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