Thursday, September 3, 2009

I need some advice

I had dinner with Pink Dress today and her car died when she arrived at my place. She phoned her mechanic and invited him to dinner with us. This is the same guy that called me chubby and blonde last October.

I thought I could pretend to be fine for a couple of hours but I don't think I can ever spend time with both of them together again. I'm still really hurt by what he said and he set me back light years with those comments. I know that he means nothing to me and I should just discard his opinion but I just can't get his words out of my head. I was so self-conscious of everything I ate at dinner tonight that I couldn't finish my meal.

I'm not sure if I should tell Pink Dress that I don't ever want to see him again or just forget it. The worst part is that she seems to think that he has a thing for me and there is no way in hell that I can purposely spend time with someone whose mere presence reinforces my neuroses about my low self-esteem and weight and food issues. Am I being insane?

Update: Grey, our mutual friend and MFV all told me I should tell her so I just sent her this email.

Okay, I don't know how to say this so I'm just going to come right out with it.

I know the mechanic is your good friend but I can't hang out with him again. When you said you had invited him to dinner, I thought I would be fine with it but it turns out I'm still not over him calling me chubby and blonde last October. I realize these are my neuroses and he probably had no idea that he would touch on such a sensitive issue. I'm sorry, I know he's good to you. But I really have to assert myself on this one. I was really uncomfortable last night and that makes me unhappy because I was looking forward to catching up with you. Do-over on Saturday?


Asshat said...

Good for you. You put your backbone into that and chose correctly.

Ms Behaviour said...

Thanks but it required a consensus and a rather long phone call with the mutual friend. Who, incidentally, spent more time trying to convince me that I should not be neurotic about being fat and stupid because I'm neither fat nor stupid. Why can't I just be skinny and ditzy and cute like everyone else?? Ugh, life would be so much easier if I would just spend less time thinking and more time primping.

Awkward, for you said...

If you were ditzy and cute you would be as smart as a bag of hair. You did the right thing. Have i ever told you about the time a perfect stranger called me fat outside the Ryerson theatre? A perfect stranger!
Everyone has their own issues and i share yours--body image. It's all the medias fault for setting outrageous body types as the norm. People in Africa don't have eating disorders because they don't have to deal with the crap we look at every day.

There is a girl i work with who is ditzy/cute and i can't stand her. Don't become that...once their looks are gone they will be left at the curb because no one can tolerate ditzy without cute.

Ms Behaviour said...

Yeah, you're right. Ditzy without cute is aggravating. And yes, you did tell me although you didn't say it was right outside my front door! What a jerk. I would have kicked him in the nads for you.