I was having lunch with an old friend in Soho (HK) today and I found out that the first guy I officially went on a date with is gay. Well, let's just say that I *officially* found out today that he has finally come out. I knew there was something horribly wrong when he held my hand at Toys 'R Us and it felt terrible. Or maybe it was McDonald's. That was a bright idea on the part of my then best friend. She just wanted me to come on a triple date with her and above-referenced lunch friend. Ugh, that entire afternoon still makes me shudder. I think I remember slow-dancing with him to Take My Breath Away at one of our school dances. That song always gives me the creeps but maybe now I will think back on it more fondly. I have added him to facebook so hopefully he doesn't hate me too much for being so repulsed by his attempts at affection. Poor guy. I should have been nicer to him. Perhaps my dating life since then has just been relationship karma for that fledgling experience. If only I had known then all the things I know now...
Ah well, lunch was fun and then I bought two pairs of shoes at Vickie's. Let me tell you, this might be my new favourite shoe store. They do custom shoes in 4 weeks. The styles and colours are fabulous and the prices are totally inexpensive. I wish I had more time here so I could go back and place an order. Next time. Someone please remind me!
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Happy Canada Day!
Things are much improved in the last few days. Turns out I'm still completely neurotic. The living room is considerably less full of boxes. And I managed to install shelves in my closets, almost all by myself! I'm pretty proud of myself for doing that. Anyway, I still need a lot of furniture and to somehow install the blinds I bought at IKEA. I would like to continue purging but it's really hard to shed all the crap that collects over 30 odd years. I wish someone would come over and throw away random boxes when I wasn't looking. I'm talking to you, Seattle.
MFV is still being awkward and distant. As far as I'm concerned, that's officially over. As for the other, I was imagining things. This week has been good. Close, comfortable, filled with doggy love. His dog. His dog that jumps on my bed when we're napping on the couch and sheds all over it. Awesome. But he has such an adorable face that I can't say no. Both dog and owner. Fingers crossed it lasts a bit longer. Just a bit longer. That's all I'm asking for.
MFV is still being awkward and distant. As far as I'm concerned, that's officially over. As for the other, I was imagining things. This week has been good. Close, comfortable, filled with doggy love. His dog. His dog that jumps on my bed when we're napping on the couch and sheds all over it. Awesome. But he has such an adorable face that I can't say no. Both dog and owner. Fingers crossed it lasts a bit longer. Just a bit longer. That's all I'm asking for.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Setback
I fired my realtor today. At least, I didn't *fire* him. I lied about my reasons for not seeing more places for the next couple of weeks. He has slipped a few times already and we have only been working together for 10 days. I don't intend to continue working with him. It's sorta like dating, I guess. I just want it to be over but I don't have the balls for the unpleasant honesty.
So there's a week gone in the quest to be not homeless. It feels like a setback but that's because I'm impatient and unhappy, unsettled and frustrated and lonely. I miss my shoes. And my bed. My pillow and sheets and kitchen utensils and did I already mention my shoes?
It's not really a setback though. I learned quite a few things. But I realize that I am officially a high-maintenance first-time home buyer. And I'm completely overwhelmed at the thought of doing this all on my own. MFV says I can talk to him but I can't. He's too busy at work to email me back and it's too late in the evening for us to have a reasonable conversation by the time he's home and has had dinner. I am tired and sad. I want him to move here so we can be together but I'm too scared to hope for that.
Fortunately work is an escape, though not having enough to do makes the time pass slowly. I think I have enough to do tomorrow that it should go by faster. And I think I'm going to get a new phone. I'm going to try out the iPhone for two weeks and if I can't handle the touch screen, the store manager will let me switch to the Blackberry. Many people tell me that I will never leave the iPhone once I get used to it. So I guess I have a date with my new iPhone tomorrow night. That, at least, feels like progress. I do need a new phone and, considering how much I am paying for just minutes now, I might as well get some fun stuff out of it.
So there's a week gone in the quest to be not homeless. It feels like a setback but that's because I'm impatient and unhappy, unsettled and frustrated and lonely. I miss my shoes. And my bed. My pillow and sheets and kitchen utensils and did I already mention my shoes?
It's not really a setback though. I learned quite a few things. But I realize that I am officially a high-maintenance first-time home buyer. And I'm completely overwhelmed at the thought of doing this all on my own. MFV says I can talk to him but I can't. He's too busy at work to email me back and it's too late in the evening for us to have a reasonable conversation by the time he's home and has had dinner. I am tired and sad. I want him to move here so we can be together but I'm too scared to hope for that.
Fortunately work is an escape, though not having enough to do makes the time pass slowly. I think I have enough to do tomorrow that it should go by faster. And I think I'm going to get a new phone. I'm going to try out the iPhone for two weeks and if I can't handle the touch screen, the store manager will let me switch to the Blackberry. Many people tell me that I will never leave the iPhone once I get used to it. So I guess I have a date with my new iPhone tomorrow night. That, at least, feels like progress. I do need a new phone and, considering how much I am paying for just minutes now, I might as well get some fun stuff out of it.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Relationships
Relationships are strange things. I work hard and play hard and expect to savour the rewards of my efforts. But relationships don't work that way. It doesn't matter how hard you bust your ass. If you're with someone who is not also busting their ass.. well, then you're just a fool. You're also a fool if you date douchebags and think they're interesting and entertaining. I suppose I had to turn 30 to learn that lesson!
Anyway, I realize that my previous post made it seem as though I'm lonely in Vancouver but I really couldn't be happier. Yesterday, I spent a lovely, sunshiney afternoon on Granville Island. I met MFV for lunch, read a book on the dock, got a pistachio ice cream cone, shopped, met MFV for coffee and eventually wondered home for a late afternoon nap. Then I met one of my favourite girlfriends for dinner in Yaletown and she filled up my soul and left it overflowing for the next person. It was a really good day. It has been a really good few weeks. I needed the break. I needed to rest. I needed to reconnect with myself. I needed to enjoy myself. I have done all those things. This has maybe been the best few weeks of my post-grad student life.
The thing is, when you start a new relationship with your bestest friend in the whole world and you also happen to be living with that person, the slightest bit of distance or withdrawal doesn't go unnoticed. But because you're living with this person, even though you might be second-guessing everything he says, you can't deal with it the same way you normally would. You can't play hard to get or give him his space or wait for him to come to you. You have to continue with the things you have started doing every day. Like washing his cereal bowl and coffee mug. And doing the laundry and buying groceries for dinner and planning your weekend getaway. And spooning with him as he falls asleep. I'm not suggesting for a minute that I would rather be in the other situation - the one where I could retreat to my cave and wait for him to come get me - after all that has not worked out so well in the past for me! But it does present a slightly different challenge. Ah, the male ego...
I am still trying to figure out this little problem. How to be a gentle, caring, loving partner without smothering the poor guy. How to still be the fun BFF and not morph into my usual relationship neuroses monster. How to be okay with having sex even when I'm not feeling 100% connected and dealing with those feelings with the minimum of drama. It's tough. I haven't been in a real relationship for many years. Maybe I never was. I never really experienced any sort of emotional intimacy with X, even though he was my best friend. I have had plenty of physical intimacy in the last couple of years, thank you Grey. But we never connected on an emotional level, in fact very much the opposite with him pushing me away whenever I would start to get close.
This is different. Better. Much, much better. But strange new territory for me. He got mad at me the other night. It was a stupid, trivial argument. And while we have moved on, we haven't really dealt with it. I'm not sure what the issue is. Probably that I am a giant, raving, condescending beyotch. I should fix that.
However, it could also be temporary. If he doesn't find work in Toronto, we may never be together again after next weekend. I intend to make the most of the week we have left. He is my BFF after all.
Anyway, I realize that my previous post made it seem as though I'm lonely in Vancouver but I really couldn't be happier. Yesterday, I spent a lovely, sunshiney afternoon on Granville Island. I met MFV for lunch, read a book on the dock, got a pistachio ice cream cone, shopped, met MFV for coffee and eventually wondered home for a late afternoon nap. Then I met one of my favourite girlfriends for dinner in Yaletown and she filled up my soul and left it overflowing for the next person. It was a really good day. It has been a really good few weeks. I needed the break. I needed to rest. I needed to reconnect with myself. I needed to enjoy myself. I have done all those things. This has maybe been the best few weeks of my post-grad student life.
The thing is, when you start a new relationship with your bestest friend in the whole world and you also happen to be living with that person, the slightest bit of distance or withdrawal doesn't go unnoticed. But because you're living with this person, even though you might be second-guessing everything he says, you can't deal with it the same way you normally would. You can't play hard to get or give him his space or wait for him to come to you. You have to continue with the things you have started doing every day. Like washing his cereal bowl and coffee mug. And doing the laundry and buying groceries for dinner and planning your weekend getaway. And spooning with him as he falls asleep. I'm not suggesting for a minute that I would rather be in the other situation - the one where I could retreat to my cave and wait for him to come get me - after all that has not worked out so well in the past for me! But it does present a slightly different challenge. Ah, the male ego...
I am still trying to figure out this little problem. How to be a gentle, caring, loving partner without smothering the poor guy. How to still be the fun BFF and not morph into my usual relationship neuroses monster. How to be okay with having sex even when I'm not feeling 100% connected and dealing with those feelings with the minimum of drama. It's tough. I haven't been in a real relationship for many years. Maybe I never was. I never really experienced any sort of emotional intimacy with X, even though he was my best friend. I have had plenty of physical intimacy in the last couple of years, thank you Grey. But we never connected on an emotional level, in fact very much the opposite with him pushing me away whenever I would start to get close.
This is different. Better. Much, much better. But strange new territory for me. He got mad at me the other night. It was a stupid, trivial argument. And while we have moved on, we haven't really dealt with it. I'm not sure what the issue is. Probably that I am a giant, raving, condescending beyotch. I should fix that.
However, it could also be temporary. If he doesn't find work in Toronto, we may never be together again after next weekend. I intend to make the most of the week we have left. He is my BFF after all.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Back that Hyundai up...
Dammit to hell I hate women drivers! I was in my underground parking lot, just trying to get upstairs to bed because I'm sick and being stubborn about taking drugs. Perhaps if I had been properly medicated, my reaction time would have been faster and I would have been able to throw my car into reverse when the woman in front of me decided to back up without checking to see who was behind her.
She slammed into me pretty hard. Not a glance behind her at all. She was young and driving her daddy's car. She was profusely apologetic but I got her insurance information anyway. I think I'm fine - I'm shaking and in pain but that could be because I'm sick - and I don't really see any damage to the car. But it's going on a train across the country in less than a month so I don't want to take any chances.
I really need a hug. Enough to let Jesus come over with dinner and hold my hand while I drink my neo-citran. Actually, he did that the last two nights so clearly it has more to do with me being a big sucky baby when I'm sick than getting slammed in the front end. It turns out that the things I find most annoying when I'm fine are the things I find most comforting when I'm sick. I didn't ask him to hold my hand. He just did it. And for a while, I kept moving my hand away and then he would reach for it again later. He has been very attentive. Which is nice, for now. Until my glands are no longer swollen.
I know I'm a terrible person for taking advantage - and how bitchy am I when I'm not sick that those things annoy the hell out of me? - but I'm sure that he's just waiting until I'm well and truly dosed up on decongestant and antihistamines and ibuprofen to take advantage of me!
She slammed into me pretty hard. Not a glance behind her at all. She was young and driving her daddy's car. She was profusely apologetic but I got her insurance information anyway. I think I'm fine - I'm shaking and in pain but that could be because I'm sick - and I don't really see any damage to the car. But it's going on a train across the country in less than a month so I don't want to take any chances.
I really need a hug. Enough to let Jesus come over with dinner and hold my hand while I drink my neo-citran. Actually, he did that the last two nights so clearly it has more to do with me being a big sucky baby when I'm sick than getting slammed in the front end. It turns out that the things I find most annoying when I'm fine are the things I find most comforting when I'm sick. I didn't ask him to hold my hand. He just did it. And for a while, I kept moving my hand away and then he would reach for it again later. He has been very attentive. Which is nice, for now. Until my glands are no longer swollen.
I know I'm a terrible person for taking advantage - and how bitchy am I when I'm not sick that those things annoy the hell out of me? - but I'm sure that he's just waiting until I'm well and truly dosed up on decongestant and antihistamines and ibuprofen to take advantage of me!
Monday, January 18, 2010
Oops, I did it again
Holy comments Batman! Okay fine, I will spill the beans.
Rain had it right in his comment on my last entry. So.SO.RIGHT. What do you know? I mixed beer and liquor. In the same glass. Three times.
Jesus and I went to the Bier Market and I love their take on my old standby, the Kir Royale. At the Bier Markt, naturally it's called a Bier Royale. We started out by having a good time but then a heinous combination of sequences occurred. I was drunk. He was drunk. Too drunk to drive, in fact. Which was not cool. He was clingy and gropey and condescending. Actually, he was that guy in the club who is being a complete jackass jerk to his date and you wonder why she's there with him because clearly she's cute and can do better. Okay fine, that's what the cute boy (Paul? Or was it Sean?) said to me. "Why are you with him? You obviously don't want to be. And you're cute. You can do better". Uh, hi Paul, YOU are a cutey-patootie. Can I put you in my pocket and take you home? Sorry, I digress...
I was irritable and cranky (okay perhaps this has nothing to do with booze!) and totally a complete bitch to him because I was tired of him constantly grabbing me and crowding me while we were dancing. Not to mention the completely condescending random comments about trivial meaningless crap. Ugh, gropey and condescending. How is this a turn on? Play hard to get dammit, but don't be a jerk. Ugh. Listen gentlemen, when we're out in public and I repeatedly take your hand off my waist, don't keep grabbing it! AUGH.
Anyway, when cutey pie Paul ended up with butchy she-male in a wife-beater, Jesus noticed me noticing them and said, "are you jealous?" "No, but I didn't think he'd end up with her". "True, he can do better." "Well, that's what he said about me."
Collective blog gasp.
Yes, it was a totally bitchy thing to say but, by that time, I had had enough of his condescending bullshit and gropey wandering hands and should have left on my own terms. But he had my coat check ticket (house keys were in the coat) and my leftover pizza in his car and he was too drunk to drive anywhere. I kept telling myself that here a nice guy and I should be more forgiving and less of a complete raving beyotch. Just goes to show that my judgment where men are concerned is completely, totally, utterly worthless.
So, I walked home drunk by myself and he followed for a bit. I don't know when I lost him, maybe about half way, which is when I phoned MFV. And, though he was drunk himself, he was smart enough to realize that I was not okay. He insisted that I text when I got home and then phoned me later to make sure I was actually alive. I was fast asleep and have no recollection of the conversation. He does want to know what happened but I can't bring myself to tell him. Yet. Maybe next weekend. Or next month. Or never.
I'm too ashamed of myself. I should not have let myself get into that predicament with a strange man, even if His name is Jesus! A girlfriend pointed out on Saturday that he's actually only just doing the minimum to try and get me in bed before I leave. He's not meeting my friends or having dinner but he has no problem taking me to bar and getting me drunk. Thank God I didn't have sex with him. I confess though, I did think about it. I mean, maybe if he hadn't been a total jerk and we both hadn't been disgusto drunk... Ugh.
So, I'm over Jesus and this really is the epilogue in my dating memoirs. I guess I should change the title of this blog again. Suggestions? "How about Catatonia and catnaps: the chronicles of a catless cat lady".
Rain had it right in his comment on my last entry. So.SO.RIGHT. What do you know? I mixed beer and liquor. In the same glass. Three times.
Jesus and I went to the Bier Market and I love their take on my old standby, the Kir Royale. At the Bier Markt, naturally it's called a Bier Royale. We started out by having a good time but then a heinous combination of sequences occurred. I was drunk. He was drunk. Too drunk to drive, in fact. Which was not cool. He was clingy and gropey and condescending. Actually, he was that guy in the club who is being a complete jackass jerk to his date and you wonder why she's there with him because clearly she's cute and can do better. Okay fine, that's what the cute boy (Paul? Or was it Sean?) said to me. "Why are you with him? You obviously don't want to be. And you're cute. You can do better". Uh, hi Paul, YOU are a cutey-patootie. Can I put you in my pocket and take you home? Sorry, I digress...
I was irritable and cranky (okay perhaps this has nothing to do with booze!) and totally a complete bitch to him because I was tired of him constantly grabbing me and crowding me while we were dancing. Not to mention the completely condescending random comments about trivial meaningless crap. Ugh, gropey and condescending. How is this a turn on? Play hard to get dammit, but don't be a jerk. Ugh. Listen gentlemen, when we're out in public and I repeatedly take your hand off my waist, don't keep grabbing it! AUGH.
Anyway, when cutey pie Paul ended up with butchy she-male in a wife-beater, Jesus noticed me noticing them and said, "are you jealous?" "No, but I didn't think he'd end up with her". "True, he can do better." "Well, that's what he said about me."
Collective blog gasp.
Yes, it was a totally bitchy thing to say but, by that time, I had had enough of his condescending bullshit and gropey wandering hands and should have left on my own terms. But he had my coat check ticket (house keys were in the coat) and my leftover pizza in his car and he was too drunk to drive anywhere. I kept telling myself that here a nice guy and I should be more forgiving and less of a complete raving beyotch. Just goes to show that my judgment where men are concerned is completely, totally, utterly worthless.
So, I walked home drunk by myself and he followed for a bit. I don't know when I lost him, maybe about half way, which is when I phoned MFV. And, though he was drunk himself, he was smart enough to realize that I was not okay. He insisted that I text when I got home and then phoned me later to make sure I was actually alive. I was fast asleep and have no recollection of the conversation. He does want to know what happened but I can't bring myself to tell him. Yet. Maybe next weekend. Or next month. Or never.
I'm too ashamed of myself. I should not have let myself get into that predicament with a strange man, even if His name is Jesus! A girlfriend pointed out on Saturday that he's actually only just doing the minimum to try and get me in bed before I leave. He's not meeting my friends or having dinner but he has no problem taking me to bar and getting me drunk. Thank God I didn't have sex with him. I confess though, I did think about it. I mean, maybe if he hadn't been a total jerk and we both hadn't been disgusto drunk... Ugh.
So, I'm over Jesus and this really is the epilogue in my dating memoirs. I guess I should change the title of this blog again. Suggestions? "How about Catatonia and catnaps: the chronicles of a catless cat lady".
Monday, January 11, 2010
I need a date
I need a date the evening of Friday February 6 at around 6 pm.
You will:
1. Drive
2. Be polite
3. Be witty
4. Be well-dressed
5. Behave
6. Be fed (your dinner and half of mine)
7. Be entertained (mildly)
8. Bemused, when I explain I found you on dial-a-date. Well, come on, I can't tell my coworkers I have a blog!
9. Berated when you dunk your head in the chocolate fountain
I will look fabulous.
First come, first served. Actually no, convince me. Okay, GO!
Okay, in all seriousness, I asked MFV and he originally said yes but has since changed his mind about coming to Toronto. I can't ask Jesus because my coworker (the one who introduced us) had invited him and has since uninvited him. How awkward would it be if *I* showed up with him?
You will:
1. Drive
2. Be polite
3. Be witty
4. Be well-dressed
5. Behave
6. Be fed (your dinner and half of mine)
7. Be entertained (mildly)
8. Bemused, when I explain I found you on dial-a-date. Well, come on, I can't tell my coworkers I have a blog!
9. Berated when you dunk your head in the chocolate fountain
I will look fabulous.
First come, first served. Actually no, convince me. Okay, GO!
Okay, in all seriousness, I asked MFV and he originally said yes but has since changed his mind about coming to Toronto. I can't ask Jesus because my coworker (the one who introduced us) had invited him and has since uninvited him. How awkward would it be if *I* showed up with him?
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Not *that*
I was just reading Rain's blog entry and the timing is perfect. (Thank you!)
I'm having dinner tonight with Jesus, ostensibly to talk about our crappy communication and to try and maintain a friendship. I'm not sure why I agreed to this because the chemistry is gone and I don't think I enjoy talking to him anymore. Maybe I was starting to wonder if I was being too picky. Starting to wonder if my expectations are too high because MFV always knows how to make me laugh and can read my mood accurately which counts for a lot, even when he doesn't know exactly how make it better.
I was starting to think that I should just suck it up and spend time with Jesus but flip-flopping daily (hourly, even) between wanting to see him and feeling obligated to MFV to not be with anyone else until he and I can see where things go when I move to BC. (My God, this is a horribly written entry but I'm just letting my brain out through my fingertips).
I was starting to think that my hopes are too high, that I can't have a man who is nice and who also makes my head explode when he kisses me. Now I realize I am not wrong to not settle for this guy. Or any guy.
I have been alone long enough that I am not going to settle for someone condescending and immature, just because he looks good in glasses. If you scroll down to Leah's comment, it was the combination of "leap" and curling toes which finally made me realize this. Her comment made my toes curl just reading it. I want *that*. Well, I guess I want *that* back, and if I can't have *that*, then I don't want something which is clearly not *that*.
I'm having dinner tonight with Jesus, ostensibly to talk about our crappy communication and to try and maintain a friendship. I'm not sure why I agreed to this because the chemistry is gone and I don't think I enjoy talking to him anymore. Maybe I was starting to wonder if I was being too picky. Starting to wonder if my expectations are too high because MFV always knows how to make me laugh and can read my mood accurately which counts for a lot, even when he doesn't know exactly how make it better.
I was starting to think that I should just suck it up and spend time with Jesus but flip-flopping daily (hourly, even) between wanting to see him and feeling obligated to MFV to not be with anyone else until he and I can see where things go when I move to BC. (My God, this is a horribly written entry but I'm just letting my brain out through my fingertips).
I was starting to think that my hopes are too high, that I can't have a man who is nice and who also makes my head explode when he kisses me. Now I realize I am not wrong to not settle for this guy. Or any guy.
I have been alone long enough that I am not going to settle for someone condescending and immature, just because he looks good in glasses. If you scroll down to Leah's comment, it was the combination of "leap" and curling toes which finally made me realize this. Her comment made my toes curl just reading it. I want *that*. Well, I guess I want *that* back, and if I can't have *that*, then I don't want something which is clearly not *that*.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Douchebaggery
Today I had a quick lunch with the Original Douchebag (he sat, I ate) and he was saying how he didn't do much over the holidays because all his friends are married now and he felt like a loser. His actual words were "so, I realized that I'm not actually a loser but I felt like a loser". Lol, who says that?? And he proposed that we should be closer friends from now on since we're both single. He was being totally creepy and weird. Ick. So I told him that I'm no longer single. He slammed his hand on the table and said, "dammit!" Uh, transparent much?? I should just have had lunch at my desk but Douchebag Beta asked me to go for lunch when I got in and I blew him off because he was a complete fu&ker the last time we didn't see each other*.
Then, this evening, despite being a complete gentleman and driving 45 minute to pick me up so I wouldn't have to deal with the broken subway after dinner, Jesus was kind of a jerk. He was patronizing and condescending and kept touching me in ways that were annoying. When I asked him to stop all of the offending behaviours, he laughed at me and continued to be patronizing. I mean, fine, the guy is older than me but I resent him treating me like a child. It's frustrating because I felt as though I was just starting to open up to him.
He also got me a gift. An expensive gift from Coach. Which was sweet. But he bought me a ponytail scarf. Only, I have short hair. Short, short hair. You know when Rihanna went super short? Yeah, ftw, right? WHAT am I going to do with a ponytail scarf??
Why do I attract weirdos and jerks?? I need a cookie. And a hug. A hug-flavoured cookie.
*I didn't post about this because it seemed like a waste of time in an otherwise perfectly good evening.
Then, this evening, despite being a complete gentleman and driving 45 minute to pick me up so I wouldn't have to deal with the broken subway after dinner, Jesus was kind of a jerk. He was patronizing and condescending and kept touching me in ways that were annoying. When I asked him to stop all of the offending behaviours, he laughed at me and continued to be patronizing. I mean, fine, the guy is older than me but I resent him treating me like a child. It's frustrating because I felt as though I was just starting to open up to him.
He also got me a gift. An expensive gift from Coach. Which was sweet. But he bought me a ponytail scarf. Only, I have short hair. Short, short hair. You know when Rihanna went super short? Yeah, ftw, right? WHAT am I going to do with a ponytail scarf??
Why do I attract weirdos and jerks?? I need a cookie. And a hug. A hug-flavoured cookie.
*I didn't post about this because it seemed like a waste of time in an otherwise perfectly good evening.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
I almost dated Jesus
So, apparently, when you date an almost 40-year old Spanish Catholic man who was born on Christmas Day and whose name is Jesus, you don't get to see him that day because his parents won't let him come out and play. Apparently, this also means that you wake up on Boxing Day with no desire to fool around with him anymore.
It's a good thing I still have Don Draper and Robert Langdon to get me through the rest of the holidays!
It's a good thing I still have Don Draper and Robert Langdon to get me through the rest of the holidays!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Scrooge
Ah crap, it's Christmas eve again. I have plans this year. They include smoked salmon and saucy sangria jelly and brownies from a tube and jalapeno gouda. The fridge is quite full, which is unheard of around these parts. My goal for the holidays was to lose some weight, which has apparently happened out of sheer misery at work. But I am going to have to medicate myself through the next four days. I might even work on Monday, just to prevent me from hurting myself. Actually, no it won't be that bad because I was really proactive about making sure I have enough shows recorded and the new Dan Brown book as a bedtime backup plan.
As for the new guy update, I can't tell if it was the Prosecco or something else but there was much more chemistry last night than I anticipated. He brought dinner and a moovie. The Hangover is terrible but I laughed despite myself. And then he stayed til some ridiculous hour. Good thing today was a half day at the office.
This was his email in response to our phone call.
Thanks for calling....we're slowly running out of things to talk about...this phone call only lasted 2 hours and 10 minutes ;-0
but as usual, it was great chatting with you. I can't wait to see your new hair cut....but more importantly...I can wait to see you again!!
I'm going to steal a line from you and say, "you're almost tolerable"...but I know you know that what I'm really saying is, I'm really into you...i like you :-)
As for the new guy update, I can't tell if it was the Prosecco or something else but there was much more chemistry last night than I anticipated. He brought dinner and a moovie. The Hangover is terrible but I laughed despite myself. And then he stayed til some ridiculous hour. Good thing today was a half day at the office.
This was his email in response to our phone call.
Thanks for calling....we're slowly running out of things to talk about...this phone call only lasted 2 hours and 10 minutes ;-0
but as usual, it was great chatting with you. I can't wait to see your new hair cut....but more importantly...I can wait to see you again!!
I'm going to steal a line from you and say, "you're almost tolerable"...but I know you know that what I'm really saying is, I'm really into you...i like you :-)
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Less chaste kisses?
We talked for over 2 hours this evening. I was thinking it would be 15 or 20 minutes tops but it just went on and on foreverandever.
I'm seeing him tomorrow but we don't have actual plans. Probably dinner and copious quantities of alcohol. He asked me, "what if I hadn't asked if I could kiss you in the elevator?" I'm not sure where that conversation was going but somehow I ended up saying, "next time I'll say no". And he said, "next time I won't ask".
Ho hum...
I'm seeing him tomorrow but we don't have actual plans. Probably dinner and copious quantities of alcohol. He asked me, "what if I hadn't asked if I could kiss you in the elevator?" I'm not sure where that conversation was going but somehow I ended up saying, "next time I'll say no". And he said, "next time I won't ask".
Ho hum...
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Date number 3...
...lasted 7 hours. 7! And there was no hanky panky! Well, there was a very chaste, politely requested, elevator kiss. But that was it. I know, crazy right?
We went for brunch and then went to a movie and then he came over and we watched one and half episodes of Mad Men and that somehow lasted from 12.30 pm to 7.30 pm. I'm shaking my head right now.
It's weird to spend that long being polite to someone new but, for the most part, it was comfortable. He smells nice (bonus!) and is soft-spoken and well-dressed and rather sweet. I don't know what to do with him! Ha.
Seriously though, we probably spent a couple of hours at brunch just people-watching and chatting. Then we killed some time before the movie. Actually, we probably sat for an hour drinking a bottle of wine (woo hoo Varsity's new VIP movie area rocks!) and talking about random crap. We watched Up in the Air which was very good but also very unexpected. And then he basically invited himself over to watch Mad Men (his DVDs so it was okay really) and then planted himself in my IKEA chair so that I could have the couch and the blanket.
He acknowledged in his post-date email that we could have shared the couch and I suggested that he be *slightly* less polite in future; perhaps take a lesson or two from Mad Men ;)
We went for brunch and then went to a movie and then he came over and we watched one and half episodes of Mad Men and that somehow lasted from 12.30 pm to 7.30 pm. I'm shaking my head right now.
It's weird to spend that long being polite to someone new but, for the most part, it was comfortable. He smells nice (bonus!) and is soft-spoken and well-dressed and rather sweet. I don't know what to do with him! Ha.
Seriously though, we probably spent a couple of hours at brunch just people-watching and chatting. Then we killed some time before the movie. Actually, we probably sat for an hour drinking a bottle of wine (woo hoo Varsity's new VIP movie area rocks!) and talking about random crap. We watched Up in the Air which was very good but also very unexpected. And then he basically invited himself over to watch Mad Men (his DVDs so it was okay really) and then planted himself in my IKEA chair so that I could have the couch and the blanket.
He acknowledged in his post-date email that we could have shared the couch and I suggested that he be *slightly* less polite in future; perhaps take a lesson or two from Mad Men ;)
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Date number 2
At least, I think it was a date. It was just drinks and, in fact, I only had one pear cider. We closed the place down. Again! I talked a lot. I really must stop doing that. I know next to nothing about him. "Date" number 3 is on Sunday. Brunch and a moovie. I'm looking forward to it.
I can't explain why I like this guy. Maybe because he has been my therapist this week! He is a great listener, and not just because he lets me go on at length. Because he really seems to be paying attention.
Also, he seems nice. And I'm ready for nice. Really ready. I need a hug and for someone to hold me up and tell me everything is going to be okay.
I can't explain why I like this guy. Maybe because he has been my therapist this week! He is a great listener, and not just because he lets me go on at length. Because he really seems to be paying attention.
Also, he seems nice. And I'm ready for nice. Really ready. I need a hug and for someone to hold me up and tell me everything is going to be okay.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Epilogue
Warning: I yam drunk.
Remember finance guy? Well, I *like* him. Warning bells! Danger! DANGER!
The Universe has a fucked up sense of humour. Why, Universe? WHY??
We went for dinner. He let me talk. I was superemotional today and I just needed to talk. And he listened. He really seemed to be paying attention. Literally, as soon as I got upstairs (fine, I will admit that I needed a cigarette after all the post-leaving announcement BS), I had an email from him.
Thanks for agreeing to go out with me and the very fun evening. I would go with you tomorrow. The problem is I'd want to spend just as much time with you as tonight. Hopefully I made enough of a positive impact that the 'other suits' will pale by comparison. ;). Have a great evening. Btw, you looked stunning. Let me know if I'll have the pleasure of your company sometime soon.
What a cheeseball. The thing is, it's kinda nice that he's cheesy. We talked a lot. Oh wait, I already said that. I'm drunk. I want to see him again.
FTW? Why, Universe?? Gah.
Remember finance guy? Well, I *like* him. Warning bells! Danger! DANGER!
The Universe has a fucked up sense of humour. Why, Universe? WHY??
We went for dinner. He let me talk. I was superemotional today and I just needed to talk. And he listened. He really seemed to be paying attention. Literally, as soon as I got upstairs (fine, I will admit that I needed a cigarette after all the post-leaving announcement BS), I had an email from him.
Thanks for agreeing to go out with me and the very fun evening. I would go with you tomorrow. The problem is I'd want to spend just as much time with you as tonight. Hopefully I made enough of a positive impact that the 'other suits' will pale by comparison. ;). Have a great evening. Btw, you looked stunning. Let me know if I'll have the pleasure of your company sometime soon.
What a cheeseball. The thing is, it's kinda nice that he's cheesy. We talked a lot. Oh wait, I already said that. I'm drunk. I want to see him again.
FTW? Why, Universe?? Gah.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Evolution got derailed somewhere...
MFV thought it was necessary to have "the talk" with me just as I was going to sleep last night. Now, he is considerably younger than me and I don't expect him to know what he wants, be decisive or make a commitment. He is, after all, a man. He told me at 2 am that (i) he is the way he is (commentary: uh yeah, duh, I can accept that); (ii) he is a commitment-phobe and cannot make a commitment the way that I expect to be committed to (thought: uh yeah, we're not even dating, let alone "together"); (iii) he is not ready to have kids but, in several years, when he might be ready to have kids, I may be too old to have them (conclusion: way to state the obvious my dear).
It sounds as though we are perfect for each other! We'll just be BFFWB foreverandeveramen.
From this, I conclude that:
1. We are not in an exclusive relationship.
2. He can go Tiger Woods on me at any time.
3. I am free to fool around with random boys.
So, I intend to bring the new guy to his knees later tonight and beg for it. And then I'm having coffee with finance guy tomorrow just to prop up my ego.
Men, are they actually good for anything but games?? Gah.
It sounds as though we are perfect for each other! We'll just be BFFWB foreverandeveramen.
From this, I conclude that:
1. We are not in an exclusive relationship.
2. He can go Tiger Woods on me at any time.
3. I am free to fool around with random boys.
So, I intend to bring the new guy to his knees later tonight and beg for it. And then I'm having coffee with finance guy tomorrow just to prop up my ego.
Men, are they actually good for anything but games?? Gah.
Monday, October 19, 2009
New guy update
So, I promised Victoria an update on the New guy. At the risk of ruining the ending (although, if you've been reading this blog for more than... oh about 90 seconds, you will be able to predict how it ends!), I have since lost interest. But it's still a mildly entertaining story and should probably be documented for posterity and my disastrous dating memoirs.
Here was the follow up fb conversation:
New guy at 19:24
on the verge of blocking you...
Ms Behaviour at 19:29
You're hilarious. Why do you want in so bad? You could just get to know me the old fashioned way like regular people instead of fb creeping me. I mean, if you know everything about me from fb, what are we going to talk about when we go for coffee/tea/lunch?
New guy at 19:35
I want in because you won't let me in, aside from that I don't give a shit.
Ms Behaviour at 19:42
Typical! Men are so predictable. No access for you yet :) My fb rule for coworkers is that I don't add you until I have socialized with you and I know you won't go gossiping about my personal life around the office. Is that fair?
Now go do something useful with your evening instead of messaging me.
New guy at 19:43
Yes, but I am not only planning on socializing with you, I am planning on fornicating with you too.....which reminds me, when are you going to invite me over?
Ms Behaviour at 20:41
Lmao and I'm planning on marrying you and having your babies!
You know, I always recommend Neil Strauss to all my single friends but it's refreshing to meet a man who actually practices the theory! So here's a question, do girls actually go for that sort of thing or do you end up getting bitch-slapped a lot?
New guy at 20:41
They not only go for it, they love it.
So, at this point, my interest has seriously started to wane. Listen guys, if you're picking up a girl and she knows how to play The Game, you should change it up. Because otherwise it's just another tired old pick up line.
Since this conversation almost 3 weeks ago, I have not been at the client office and he has made up for my absence by sending me progressively dirtier text messages. For example, "I can't wait to jizz all over your silky smooth skin" and "I miss staring at your ass and wondering if you like anal". Yeah. Smooth. I know.
Last week, he had a report for me so we met up for coffee. He finally admitted that he had given up on me and was no longer bothered about getting in my pants. I had to buy his coffee because he forgot his wallet at home and put up with his incessant blackberrying all night. Don't get me wrong, there is something superficially entertaining about this man but I have no interest in dating him. After MFV came and went, I have lost interest and patience in these games and the men who play them.
However, all of this did not stop New guy from trying to kiss me on the sidewalk. I fell for his, "give me a hug" and he pulled me in by my winter jacket and attempted to kiss close. I laughed at him and told him that I don't kiss my coworkers (okay, he has no reason to believe that I lie!) and turned my cheek. That was when he proceeded to chew on my cheek. It was kinda cute in a baby animal beseeching me for attention sort of way. So yeah, the fucker gave me a face hickey.
The final nail in the coffin was him posting, "no one likes you" on my fb wall. Yeah, that'll work.
Also, in other news, Grey has a girlfriend. We're supposed to see Cirque du Soleil this Sunday but I might have to uninvite him. I think that I'm over him because, frankly, I'm glad he's not *my* boyfriend. But I don't think I want to be friends with him, or spend $100 on a ticket which he probably won't appreciate. Maybe I'll take my mom instead.
I did meet a nice guy recently. He seemed nice the first time I met him and he seemed nice the second time I met him. He's a friend of a friend. Just this past weekend at a house party, he laughed at my jokes, rescued me from a creepy guy, helped me clean up and gave me a kiss on the cheek goodbye. I really like him as person and I think there might be some chemistry there. However, there is one MAJOR problem. In fact, I have always considered it a dealbreaker. He's a cop. RCMP actually, so maybe not as bad as uniform. But still, not good. That is the only profession I will not date because I cannot be married to a cop. Even firemen and paramedics, though less than ideal, are worthy of consideration. But I can't be married to someone who could die because of a firearm.
Apparently he told our mutual friend that I was an old soul. That's a nice compliment :)
Here was the follow up fb conversation:
New guy at 19:24
on the verge of blocking you...
Ms Behaviour at 19:29
You're hilarious. Why do you want in so bad? You could just get to know me the old fashioned way like regular people instead of fb creeping me. I mean, if you know everything about me from fb, what are we going to talk about when we go for coffee/tea/lunch?
New guy at 19:35
I want in because you won't let me in, aside from that I don't give a shit.
Ms Behaviour at 19:42
Typical! Men are so predictable. No access for you yet :) My fb rule for coworkers is that I don't add you until I have socialized with you and I know you won't go gossiping about my personal life around the office. Is that fair?
Now go do something useful with your evening instead of messaging me.
New guy at 19:43
Yes, but I am not only planning on socializing with you, I am planning on fornicating with you too.....which reminds me, when are you going to invite me over?
Ms Behaviour at 20:41
Lmao and I'm planning on marrying you and having your babies!
You know, I always recommend Neil Strauss to all my single friends but it's refreshing to meet a man who actually practices the theory! So here's a question, do girls actually go for that sort of thing or do you end up getting bitch-slapped a lot?
New guy at 20:41
They not only go for it, they love it.
So, at this point, my interest has seriously started to wane. Listen guys, if you're picking up a girl and she knows how to play The Game, you should change it up. Because otherwise it's just another tired old pick up line.
Since this conversation almost 3 weeks ago, I have not been at the client office and he has made up for my absence by sending me progressively dirtier text messages. For example, "I can't wait to jizz all over your silky smooth skin" and "I miss staring at your ass and wondering if you like anal". Yeah. Smooth. I know.
Last week, he had a report for me so we met up for coffee. He finally admitted that he had given up on me and was no longer bothered about getting in my pants. I had to buy his coffee because he forgot his wallet at home and put up with his incessant blackberrying all night. Don't get me wrong, there is something superficially entertaining about this man but I have no interest in dating him. After MFV came and went, I have lost interest and patience in these games and the men who play them.
However, all of this did not stop New guy from trying to kiss me on the sidewalk. I fell for his, "give me a hug" and he pulled me in by my winter jacket and attempted to kiss close. I laughed at him and told him that I don't kiss my coworkers (okay, he has no reason to believe that I lie!) and turned my cheek. That was when he proceeded to chew on my cheek. It was kinda cute in a baby animal beseeching me for attention sort of way. So yeah, the fucker gave me a face hickey.
The final nail in the coffin was him posting, "no one likes you" on my fb wall. Yeah, that'll work.
Also, in other news, Grey has a girlfriend. We're supposed to see Cirque du Soleil this Sunday but I might have to uninvite him. I think that I'm over him because, frankly, I'm glad he's not *my* boyfriend. But I don't think I want to be friends with him, or spend $100 on a ticket which he probably won't appreciate. Maybe I'll take my mom instead.
I did meet a nice guy recently. He seemed nice the first time I met him and he seemed nice the second time I met him. He's a friend of a friend. Just this past weekend at a house party, he laughed at my jokes, rescued me from a creepy guy, helped me clean up and gave me a kiss on the cheek goodbye. I really like him as person and I think there might be some chemistry there. However, there is one MAJOR problem. In fact, I have always considered it a dealbreaker. He's a cop. RCMP actually, so maybe not as bad as uniform. But still, not good. That is the only profession I will not date because I cannot be married to a cop. Even firemen and paramedics, though less than ideal, are worthy of consideration. But I can't be married to someone who could die because of a firearm.
Apparently he told our mutual friend that I was an old soul. That's a nice compliment :)
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Ohhhhhh
The new guy and I went out for lunch today. Just the two of us. It was fun. I like him. Yes, yes, red flags danger klaxon sirens! I am stupid. Apparently advanced degrees in science/engineering/management do not qualify you (or just me) to know when a boy likes me. All day I was thinking he was just being friendly. Not so much as of right now. Here is our fb conversation:
New guy 29 September at 13:36
I see you're very pride of your [grad school] connection, LOL!
I think it is funny that you're 12 feet away from me and I am e-mailing you.
Me 29 September at 17:36
You're so silly. You'll have to tell me what you can see now that I have replied to your message. I don't usually fb at work but I can read messages when I get the email notification. See you tomorrow :)
New guy 29 September at 18:02
I can't see anything. If you don't add me, we're in a fight.
Me 29 September at 23:24
Lol you're so full of it Mr Politician! I know that some of my photo albums are publicly available. Anyway, I can totally take you...
New guy 29 September at 23:33
Listen smart ass, NONE of your albums are available. And now we ARE in a fight....you better add me!
Me 29 September at 23:43
Hmm, maybe they're restricted for luddites. Since we are in a fight, I look forward to kicking your ass tomorrow morning. Right after my pumpkin spice latte. I have a mean left hook! Good night [new guy].
New guy 29 September at 23:44 Report
I am going to buy two lattes, one to drink and one to throw on you.
Me 29 September at 23:50
That is a terrible waste of a good latte! Shocking. I'm glad we're not fb friends :p
New guy 29 September at 23:51 Report
I can't believe you won't add me...and after all these weeks of me flirting with you you diss me this hard!
Me 30 September at 00:03
Flirting?! I thought you were just recruiting me to assist you with your plan for world domination. Anyway, didn't I just meet you like last week? I don't let people in just like that, you know. You'll have to work harder. I'm really going to bed now. Pjs on and book in hand.
Here are my photos. Mini-truce?
New guy 29 September at 13:36
I see you're very pride of your [grad school] connection, LOL!
I think it is funny that you're 12 feet away from me and I am e-mailing you.
Me 29 September at 17:36
You're so silly. You'll have to tell me what you can see now that I have replied to your message. I don't usually fb at work but I can read messages when I get the email notification. See you tomorrow :)
New guy 29 September at 18:02
I can't see anything. If you don't add me, we're in a fight.
Me 29 September at 23:24
Lol you're so full of it Mr Politician! I know that some of my photo albums are publicly available. Anyway, I can totally take you...
New guy 29 September at 23:33
Listen smart ass, NONE of your albums are available. And now we ARE in a fight....you better add me!
Me 29 September at 23:43
Hmm, maybe they're restricted for luddites. Since we are in a fight, I look forward to kicking your ass tomorrow morning. Right after my pumpkin spice latte. I have a mean left hook! Good night [new guy].
New guy 29 September at 23:44 Report
I am going to buy two lattes, one to drink and one to throw on you.
Me 29 September at 23:50
That is a terrible waste of a good latte! Shocking. I'm glad we're not fb friends :p
New guy 29 September at 23:51 Report
I can't believe you won't add me...and after all these weeks of me flirting with you you diss me this hard!
Me 30 September at 00:03
Flirting?! I thought you were just recruiting me to assist you with your plan for world domination. Anyway, didn't I just meet you like last week? I don't let people in just like that, you know. You'll have to work harder. I'm really going to bed now. Pjs on and book in hand.
Here are my photos. Mini-truce?
Monday, August 17, 2009
Douchebag ego boost
I talked to Douchebag on the phone this morning. He is sick so I didn't go downstairs for a visit. He sounds like death and should probably quit smoking, at least until his disgusto respiratory tract infection goes away. At the end of our conversation, he asked how my date was on Friday night. For the record, I did not tell him I had a date. He had asked if I was coming for drinks after work and I said I already had plans. I never go to those things anyway because I'm on a different floor and never get invited. Anyway, today when he asked how my date was, I said, "it was good". I don't think he expected me to actually have a date on Friday night. He was fishing. So I took the bait. He got all huffy and I could hear the frustration and jealousy oozing out of his infectious H1N1 voice. He said he was very happy for me. Muahahah.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Douchebag redux
He called tonight, after sending 8 nonsensical drunk texts, and wants to date me again.
For those of you not keeping up or new to the blog, look for any posts since May with the word "disaster" in it.
I don't know how many times I have to say no to this guy. The thing is, I know that he only wants to hit it because I keep saying no to him. The second I let him back in, he'll be gone again. I'm not one of those women who is naive enough to believe that men change.
We talked for an hour. Because we have an important meeting at work on Wednesday and I need for everything to be fine. It took a lot of time away from my thesising and I didn't want him to know how much his text message hurt me. But I did end up telling him that I was angry about his decision that I wasn't good enough for a relationship but that he'd be happy to do me anytime.
Fucking guys. Always know how to make me feel like I'm less than nothing. Good thing I'm seeing Grey tomorrow night. He'll remind me that I am actually worthless.
For those of you not keeping up or new to the blog, look for any posts since May with the word "disaster" in it.
I don't know how many times I have to say no to this guy. The thing is, I know that he only wants to hit it because I keep saying no to him. The second I let him back in, he'll be gone again. I'm not one of those women who is naive enough to believe that men change.
We talked for an hour. Because we have an important meeting at work on Wednesday and I need for everything to be fine. It took a lot of time away from my thesising and I didn't want him to know how much his text message hurt me. But I did end up telling him that I was angry about his decision that I wasn't good enough for a relationship but that he'd be happy to do me anytime.
Fucking guys. Always know how to make me feel like I'm less than nothing. Good thing I'm seeing Grey tomorrow night. He'll remind me that I am actually worthless.
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