Sunday, August 16, 2009

Defense T minus 11

Defense is on August 27 at 2 pm. I am starting to feel overwhelmed and stressed and anxious. Really, the thing that worries me most is the unpredictability of questions. Everything else will be okay provided I spend every spare second of every day between now and then preparing thoroughly. I have to finish my presentation before Thursday which is when I will be doing a run-through with my supervisors. Then I have another week to think of and prepare answers to questions. Basically, anything I wrote in 150+ pages is up for debate. I'm scared.

I took yesterday off to decompress with the other grad students. We had brunch at Watermark in the Harbourfront Centre and ended up at the beach at Ward Island which was actually not completely disgusting. We may go back in two weekends when we're done with our defenses. In the evening, we ordered pizza and had a drink and bitched and moaned and complained about school and thesis supervisors. It was fun and I might even miss these girls when we're done. I probably won't see them again after convocation.

Meanwhile, Grey went here last night.

I don't know how much more of his crap I can take. I know that I have been saying that for the last year and a half but I'm starting to feel used and abused. Underappreciated and taken advantage of. It's wearing me down slowly. Well, maybe when the thesis is over, I will welcome the drama back into my life.

Speaking of drama, MFV might come visit at the end of September on his way to Morocco. While I want to go with him to Morocco, I'm not sure if our friendship can stand this test of real life exposure. I haven't seen him in 3 years. I don't know if he knows what he wants from me but I'm tired of guys flip flopping between wanting to be with me and not wanting to be with me. Don't I deserve to be with a man who knows what he wants? I guess I will wait to worry about him until I see a flight number.

Also, that place I didn't make an offer on? It sold for more than $30K above asking. It appears I can't actually afford to buy the type of place I want in this godforsaken city. It has been a bad news day all around.


Awkward, for you said...

that sucks about finding out about that place selling for 30K above asking. That seems to be happening a lot lately. One place in our building was listed at 279 and sold for 320. How ridiculous is that?

We scored big time with ours because it was independently being sold through something that allowed them to post on MLS so we got a ridiculous deal. Just wait it out, you will find it i promise :)

As for comment. You know better then to question his actions. That club looked like fun though...but i like Strip Clubs...and that sort of thing. Back in college i used to work at the Stag Shop. One of the best jobs ever!

Sometimes i miss my blog...but i shall live through you :)

Ms Behaviour said...

You know, I would consider going to Wicked but not with him, or anyone that makes me feel insecure and unworthy. I would just feel so threatened watching him with other women. I might go with a man who knew that he wanted to be with me 100%.

I don't have a problem with a guy going to the peelers because the boundaries at those places are clear. I've been myself and they gross me out so I don't think I will go again in this lifetime.

But I do think the Stag Shop is a riot. Especially the second floor :) I need to replace one of my... ahem, bedroom entertainment devices so maybe I'll treat myself to a graduation gift. Something pink ;)

Asshat said...

Maybe, in order to get back some of your self-respect, you could just regard Grey an an animated "bedroom entertainment device." Think of him as a green way to save on batteries . . . not much ends up in the landfill once you're through with him.

I don't know how people can afford housing up there.

Ms Behaviour said...

Lol, Asshat you're a rockstar!