Wednesday, April 23, 2008


I probably shouldn't have emailed Grey this morning. Perhaps I'm still drunk.

It drives me nuts sometimes that I'm so attracted to you that I feel I have to randomly call you up and beg you to have sex with me. Actually, it drives me nuts that you say no to me. I honestly can't explain why I feel so drawn to you. I don't recall this ever happening to me with anyone else. Even that first day I met you, I remember sitting next to you on your couch with your arm stretched out behind me. Your physical presence was like a magnet. It was so powerful that I couldn't even bring myself to look at you. It's a good thing C was so focused on watching Federer get smoked because she would definitely have noticed it. I think that she did notice it the following Friday at the Fat Belgian. I know she definitely noticed you watching me intently while you shared mussels with her because I still couldn't bring myself to look at you. Remember how I told you about my awesome boyfriend who could tie a knot in a cherry stem with his tongue? And how I gave her my umbrella to make her happy? I wish she hadn't convinced me to come out that night. Maybe that's why she flirted with you so outrageously in front of me. Anyway, that's practically ancient history, right? Just tell me, do you have this effect on other women or is it just my misfortune? It sucks for me because, when I do bother to go on a date, I just sit there knowing that it's a complete waste of time. Until you decide you're gay or getting married, I will probably continue to sit there thinking about you and wondering what, or who, you might be doing.

I guess I still think that the sun shines out of your ass.

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