I will never learn

He texted me this morning so I called to ask him to dim sum. He declined. Well of course he fucking declined. He was already making breakfast and then meeting friends at noon. He's out of town for the next 5 days: Victoria, Vancouver, Edmonton, Calgary, Winnipeg. Back Friday night and then has people coming to visit. He's booked solid til the end of May. I asked him if I should look for a new booty buddy and he said "well I'm not going to tell you yes". But it wasn't a no either. Fucker. As if I wasn't already going to be miserable all day. I hate Sundays. I hate crying all the time. I hate him and I hate myself.

I wrote a not-so-mathematical proof that looking for love is absolutely pointless. Worse than pointless. It's absolute fucking humiliation.

Dating = absolute humiliation
Desperate attempts to obtain validation from others = absolute humiliation
Overwhelming need for attention, company and physical contact = absolute humiliation
Unrequited love = absolute humiliation
Complete isolation from other people = significantly decreased probability of absolute humiliation
Therefore, dating, relationships and love are crap.
QED