Sunday, April 6, 2008


Why do relationships have to end? Especially the ones that have gone on longer than a decade? I understand that people change, they grow apart, communication breaks down and everything becomes unbearable. I've been there. But why do other people have to go through it? And why do I have to go through it again by extension?

I don't know any details of the recent split. I haven't talked to either half at length but I am having dinner with him on Wednesday. I was supposed to go out with her tonight but he decided that he couldn't take care of their son so she had to cancel.

Without knowing the circumstances, I think they're making a huge mistake. Perhaps that is just me projecting my own regrets. I wish I had known then what I know now. I wish I had tried harder to make it work with X. I wish that we had had the tools then to communicate better and find common ground. But then, if we hadn't split, I wouldn't have learned all the things I did in the past 4 years. Communication skills. How not to care so much. To diagnose my own moodiness and emotional roller coasters. That you have to be happy within yourself before someone else can make you happy. Before you can make someone else happy. And, of course, how to enjoy sex. I would never have met Grey. I would have continued to think that love doesn't exist.

I know that this won't be the last break up in our group and that thought makes my stomach hurt. I wish my friends would stop taking for granted what they have right now. I wish they would appreciate their partners more. I wish they would learn to communicate and be tolerant and not judgmental. I wish they would learn to express happiness when they see their partner. I wish the arguments and tension would stop.

Maybe endings are inevitable.

1 comment:

cce said...

I wish I knew why love fades and marriages and relationships unravel, I think it has a lot to do with taking each other for granted and forgetting how simple courtship rituals can sustain a thing. When people forget to adore and compliment and care for each other then they are just two people sharing debt and property. It sets one or the other up to look elsewhere. The grass is always greener but sometimes the pasture two people share just isn't big enough.