I was starting to respond to Asshat's previous comment about not buying into the concept of Please-itis when I realized this deserved it's own entry...
Seriously? You can't buy into the concept of feeling guilty about saying no? There are millions of women all over the world who have this problem. Aren't we raised like that? To be understanding and generous and forgiving? Even at the expense of our own satisfaction, sanity, dignity, happiness? Back me up here ladies.
I'm better than most at saying no but I still feel like I should give the guy another chance. I mean, maybe he wants to apologize for being an asshole. I know I don't have to care but I feel guilty about being so bitchy towards him. I don't know why I feel guilty. Why do I feel like that Asshat? I don't think that I really want to see him again (and my life would be easier if he had just disappeared) but I'm not sure if I can bring myself to say the words out loud "I didn't like you very much and I don't think anything productive can come of brunch". Isn't that a bit harsh?
As for not returning calls or text messages, I won't play those games with the men that I'm actually dating, let alone the ones I don't care about. I'm a decent human being and I don't ignore people, even jackass men. Maybe therein lies the problem.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
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I think you answered your own rhetorical question that time. Yes, you were raised to be understanding, generous and forgiving. You were taught that it's wrong to make people feel bad. You're afraid you'll make Denis feel bad if you say "sorry, bye" so the thought of doing so makes you feel guilty.
But Denis deserves to feel bad; he's a bleeding asshole, and the more you interact with him the worse you'll feel and the bitchier you'll be. That's not good for either of you and wastes a lot of time and energy. So, put the guilt aside and politely ask him to disappear. Shake the dust off your shoes and don't look back.
Yes, I know, easy for me to say because I'm a man and therefore a jackass but there you have it.
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