Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Timely apology

Just got this email from Grey.

Just wanted to say I am sorry, I can be an ass without knowing sometimes,
you are a great gal and should not think any less of yourself because of
the shit that comes out of my mouth.

It makes me feel better. It shouldn't but it does. I have written a reply but haven't sent it yet.

I sent my own Ernestine apology email.

Hey you

Thanks for the apology. I really appreciate it, especially because the drama was my fault. I'm sorry too. I guess I'm not doing a very good job of being more like a man! I overreacted because I was exhausted from too much partying and I just couldn't process everything. I took it personally that you were preoccupied and not interested in sex and my brain just made the leap that you wanted me gone because you had someone else coming over. I was also really freaked out that you suddenly wanted to see my place. I guess I have gotten used to the boundaries we've established and I thought you wanted to change them. And I was scared that you would judge me based on my apartment not being as nice as yours. This is the first place that I have really been able to call home and I feel safe here so I don't want anyone to take that away from me. These are my issues and I don't expect you to deal with them. I know that you're not my boyfriend and you never will be. I hope that I learn from this so that I don't make the same mistakes with the next guy.

I think it's a good thing that I'll be away for most of June. We definitely need a break from each other. The last few weeks, I have felt comfortable enough around you to start opening up and talking about my life but maybe that is a mistake. I really enjoy talking to you and learning from you and, even though we don't have a real relationship, I do enjoy our time together. I know it could end any time and I really do want you to be happy and find love and marriage and kids and all that stuff. The fact that love is missing from my life is a big void which I'm trying to fill with school and friends. I have a couple of dates this week and I keep hoping that, the more people I meet, the closer I'll get to a real relationship.

Do I still get to come to the concert next week? I promise I'll look good ;)

In conclusion, I still get to go to the concert! Yay :) I could care less about Tom Petty but I can't wait to see a concert from an undisclosed corporate box at the largest venue in the city. Yay!


Ernest said...

You young singles and your friendly relations -- it gets complicated. All I know is that any number of Tom Petty songs could be appropriate as a title to a post next week. I hope it's not "Free Fallin'." "Break Down" I suppose could be good or bad, depending on how you mean it. Same with "I Won't Back Down." For short-term gratification maybe "You Got Lucky" is best. You have to be judge of that. It may or may not help to keep integral calculus in mind. The infinite sum of short-terms somehow become a lifetime. (Can you tell I'm a "Ramblin' Man"? Oh wait, wrong singer.)

Hope you sort it out soon, EB. May the butterfly of happiness visit freely and often.

I almost forgot: nice use of the proper noun as adjective.

Elusive Butterfly said...

I thought you'd like that ;)

Actually, when I listen to Free Fallin', I think of Grey. Haven't found my own anthem yet but I do like "I Won't Back Down".

I may be doing some work for Grey's company in the fall. How funny and empowering would it be if I end up training him? Muahahah...