Friday, May 9, 2008

"Electronic emboldening and concomitant anonymity"*

I have started to wonder if my blog is too honest. There are things I write here that I would never say in public. Would never sign my name to. Would restrict to the pages of my journal were it not for the internet's anonymity. Perhaps a few too many Sex and the City episodes have lured me into thinking that it's not a big mistake to post the sordid details of my sexual adventures here. (And the same reason I commented to a short man in Tim Horton's that he had a big lens). Certainly if I was outed and my anonymity evaporated, I would delete this entire blog. Perhaps it's time to start archiving for that eventuality. I would hate to lose these words the way I lost those 500+ photos in 2006.

I don't know if I will ever get over the pain and suffering of having my camera stolen in Shanghai. It wasn't about the camera. I was too stupid and tired and lazy and rushed to back up the photos. I knew better. What I wouldn't give to go back to that moment in the shower when I thought "they're just photos". Why do I continue to punish myself this way?

I wonder if I will hear from Grey tomorrow and cancel tentative plans with Baby and Delorean. Probably. I hope I don't hear from him. But, just in case, I'm going to bed now. Even if the Coke-induced caffeine high isn't negated by the effects of fresh pasta made with eggs and a glass of Prosecco, at least I will be in my bed and not in the lab. Ralph Lauren thread count and water pillow, here I come.

*Acknowledgment to E for the title of this entry.

3 comments:

Ernest said...

I'm glad I took you up on your kind invitation, Miz Moshizzle. You have a nice combination of erudite and cozy going on here. You make a good point, too, about the different sides of ourselves we're willing to put out there (for public consumption, no less) with namelessness to protect us. (BTW, here at your own site do you prefer Moshizzle, Mo, Butterfly, EB, El, or does it matter?)

Sounds like you're working killer hours lately. I remember my grad school friends in the hard sciences were always held captive by their timed experiments. I had respect for their commitment, but was glad it wasn't me missing Andy Griffith reruns.

It also sounds like you might have a good thing going with this guy Grey. I hadn't realized that an offer to cut toast into triangles could bring about big points. I'll be happy to see for myself sometime.

Anyway, thanks again for the shout over there at that lonely guy's blog. I mostly enjoyed the time there and I've mostly appreciated the post mortem. A few things puzzle me, though. Is "sour grapes" something other than the hackneyed expression? A mistaken reference to Harlan's privates maybe? Also, who was Fawn this time? The reason I ask is that I was tempted myself to come back one more time as her for a tidy, though overly worshipful, wrap-up.

All the best!

E

Elusive Butterfly said...

Hi and welcome E

The reference to "sour grapes" goes back a ways. I had to spend a few seconds searching for it but it's here http://soveryalone.com/2008/02/05/oops-i-did-it-again/#comments

As for names, I don't mind what you call me. Really, I don't :)

I have no idea who Fawn is though. I don't really understand the point of posting as multiple personalities. If you have time, maybe you could send me an email to clarify?

And finally, you may be the only person on the planet who thinks we have a good thing going. I suspect he wants more but doesn't know what. I know I want more but have given up expecting it. All of my friends tell me to ditch him and start over with someone "better".

Ernest said...

Ah, no wonder Asshat reacted the way he did to sour grapes. Thanks for digging through the archives for the background.

Speaking of archives, here was the thread that launched that whole name-as-descriptor device.

http://soveryalone.com/2008/04/08/confidence-peak/#comments

Leland asked the question, I came up with that homological nonsense with Josh, the joker, and Prudence, the sensible one backing me up. I noticed that you were getting into the polysyllabic spirit of things, too. Others played along, but the homologs couldn't sustain themselves for long.

The last thing I should mention is that my off-the-cuff remark about things with Grey were based on maybe 2 posts I saw about him. One was where you were saying he'd been almost charming and the other where you were impressed by his attentiveness with toast. Your friends know the more complete story, of course.