Good long weekend

I actually ended up having a really good long weekend. I shouldn't have ended it with House. I knew that it would end that way but I hoped deep down that it wouldn't. I won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't watched it yet. But now I can't stop crying. I know it's not real. All the characters are fictitious. I feel silly being this emotional. So why am I still crying?

I saw Grey again on Sunday evening. I emailed him after I got home from the wedding to tell him about the two wedding dresses. He had planned to cook a leg of lamb so I asked him how it was and he invited me over to try it on Sunday night. I don't normally eat lamb. Because they're cute and cuddly, not because I have ethical concerns. But I wanted to try his lamb because I do enjoy his cooking. It was pretty good but not good enough to make up for the cuteness factor. I don't think I'll be eating lamb again any time soon.

And we had the same kind of night as Friday. Dinner, movie (PS I Love You - terrible) and tv (PGA Tour - I passed out, which is the only reason I watch golf), cuddles, sleep. But no sex. He kicked me out this morning but I could tell he felt a bit guilty about it. Well, he didn't kick me out but I could tell he was anxious to get to work. I could see his brain click into gear at about 10.30 and he was too preoccupied to enjoy sex. That made me a bit sad. I shouldn't expect him to put me before work but it was hard not to take that as a hit to my self-esteem. His job makes him an asshole and it doesn't even make him happy. I don't want to think about why he continues to do it. He worked all day today so he didn't join me for Chinese food for dinner.

I went out for bubble tea afterwards with the Usual Suspects and they were all happy to get the "gifts" he sent. Okay, he didn't send them. I took one for Baby and one for Delorean but he loaded me up with enough for everyone else. I would say what the "gifts" were but that would blow his cover. Anyway, it was nice to have plans on the last day of the long weekend. I saw all of the important friends this weekend. Well, the local ones anyway. I got all my lab work done and feel really good about that. And this is four weekends in a row of seeing Grey and him being nice to me. Twice in one weekend is just gravy on the cake. That's right, gravy. Not icing, unless it's egg-free.

I can tell that something has changed with him but I don't know what that something is. He's talking to me now. Letting me in a tiny bit. And that makes me feel good about myself. It makes me happy. I know I shouldn't hope for more from him. The past 8 months have taught me not to expect more from him. But when he's nice to me, I don't feel as stupid about the time I spend with him. From now on, I will make a conscious effort to not be harsh or critical or judgmental. Sometimes I wish he was a bit more boyfriend material. Tonight, it would have been nice if he had joined us for dinner. But perhaps this is the Universe testing me. To see if I learned my lesson with X. Or is history just destined to repeat itself?