Over

He didn't call last night. I wasn't really expecting it. He never calls on Mondays. He didn't call tonight. I was hoping he would. But also hoping he wouldn't. Because, if he never calls me again, I won't have to make a decision. Maybe I will regret for the rest of my life not trying harder. The sensible part of my brain knows that it's not up to me and never was. I miss him so much. I'm going to cry myself to sleep now.