I would rather be nowhere

I don't know if I can handle this. I'm okay when there are people around. I've always been good at faking strength and self-confidence. But when I get home, I can't stop crying. I really miss him.

I wrote that last night. I never posted it because I was so ashamed of myself. And then I had a colossal epiphany. I'm too tired to write about it but I'm starting to waver in my convictions about Grey.

The two things next to my bed are my very marked up and highlighted copy of He's Just Not That Into You and my journal.

I still miss him but I'm exhausted with this non-relationship. Maybe it would be better if I was hit by a truck. Or pushed out the window. Or died during exam invigilation tomorrow. Somebody died on campus today. No further details were provided. Shocking.