Humpy Halloween

How can it only be Wednesday night?? This week is taking forever to end. And not just because I'm turning 30 on Saturday and can't wait :) My last post should have been called "Weekend High". I must be losing it.

He finally asked about X today. Today I was over at X's parents house. Drove his mother home from the hospital and then put up her Halloween decorations while she made dinner. X and I manned the door while she ate and sat with the dog who is 13.5 years old and may not have another Halloween. Mr. X is in the hospital having his bone marrow replaced. He should have been home already but he has a Clostridium difficile infection and is in isolation. They won't let him come home until he has been diarrhea-free for 48 hours. Mrs. X is so strong and matter-of-fact that I have no idea how she copes. I hope I never have to be in her shoes. Perhaps she is stubborn and has a one-track mind. Perhaps she understands that she can't change anything so she just has to manage. Perhaps she cries herself to sleep every night. I would. I can't think of anything I wouldn't do for that family.

I'm not sure what I'll tell the mysterious guy about X. That he treats me more like his little sister than his ex. That I broke up with him because he was never going to be the man I needed in my life. That I'm not attracted to him anymore and haven't been for years. That usually, when we spend time together, I realize I'm better off alone than spending the rest of my life with him. That I still believe, if I'm not good enough for him, maybe I'm not good enough for anyone? I don't know. I guess I'll figure that out when we talk tomorrow.

As for Halloween, I'm glad that it happened, even if it was a bit stressful. We had one little blue princess who took one look at the dog and started yelling "Doggie! DOGGIE!" at the top of her lungs. Fortunately, Mrs. X was holding her (the dog, not the princess) so a near disaster was averted. And then, after X gave her the standard ration of two chocolate bars, she reached into the box and took another one! We all laughed but my nerves were a bit on edge. I can only imagine how the poor dog must have felt. I think the little blue princess had dipped into her candy stash a bit early!

I'm tired. My tummy hurts. I just want to go to bed but I don't think sleep will come easily tonight. I wish I was with the mysterious guy instead of being home alone but I have an early lab day tomorrow and it's better this way.