Thursday, October 25, 2007

Baby, where you at?

"Baby where you at - I just recognized I’m living life alone
Baby where you at - I just, I just , wish you’d call me
Damn this phone"
-- Joe feat. Papoose

I think he's avoiding me. I wish I knew what it is about me that turns men off. It can't just be the sex. Can it? If that's the case, what's the point of waiting to have sex if he's just going to disappear anyway? I'd rather figure that out sooner rather than later. Maybe that makes me stupid. I just wish he would call.

How did I get here again? I'm so sick of waiting for the phone to ring. I'm tired of being single. Maybe I'm just tired and remembering how good it felt to be taken care of on Sunday. I should stop listening to songs that make me sad.

We're not going to Vancouver in November. At least, I'm not going with him. I'm starting to dread my birthday. I was so happy about turning 30 and going to the Bahamas for a week. Now I just want it to be over. I just want to fast forward to the following Monday. I was going to go home for the holidays but I don't think I want to be there with both parents and sibling. I wonder if I can use my Air Canada credit on a package deal. After all, I don't need a man to take me to Jamaica.

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