Temporary insanity (aka sleep deprivation makes me risk tolerant)

Just dropped Grey off at the airport. I don't do well with seeing him in the morning. I was smoking a cigarette in the car on the drive home at 9.40 am. Ick. But it was otherwise a nice little send off. I got a couple of hugs and kisses so those will have to tide me over for 3 weeks. I also selected four blog entries to give him as reading material.

On Tuesday when we were having dinner, it somehow came up that I keep a journal. He asked me why I keep a journal and whether I ever wrote about him (!) and if he could read it. When I asked why he might want to read my journal, what I could possibly have to write that he might be interested in, he asked me what would happen when I died. I can't imagine that anyone would be interested in my journals now that I'm no longer a teenager and my mother can't control my life anymore. But if someone other than me is reading this, I guess there is some interest! He convinced me that I have a way with words and he enjoys reading my writing.

So I gave him a blog entry that I wrote (on my now non-existent, not anonymous blog) in July 2006 shortly before I moved back to this city. I also gave him Happy Sunday, Do normal relationships exist? and Two can be as bad as one.

I'm banking heavily on his ludditeness that he won't have the technological wherewithal to search for any key phrases in Google. I removed all references to blogs and changed all the names back except for Mr Rebound. And there were many caveats. Don't read it all at once. Don't criticize or provide feedback or otherwise comment or respond. Don't let anyone else read it. Don't freak out because I wrote the October/November entries before the "I'm not in love with you" incident.

Maybe it was a mistake but it's a risk I'm prepared to take.