Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Questionable aphrodisiacs

The concert was great. Tom Petty is a good performer and a live show is always fun. No corporate box sadly, but I still had a good time. I showed up at Grey's with hair and make up done. We had dinner and then he asked for sex and then a blowjob and then if he could just play with my breasts. All of which I declined on account of having spent an hour on hair and make up. He's such a charmer.

I decided against the outrageously hot top because it was cold and rainy all day. I chose something more in keeping with my conservative style. That would be a black top and jeans with cute but walkable heels. It's a good thing I did. It ended up being a double date with a client and the client's wife. It's probably a good thing that Grey didn't warn me about that because I get weird and awkward on fake double dates with strangers. Fortunately the client's wife did most of the talking. I'm better at listening than talking unless I'm drunk and then I could care less what comes out of my mouth or who might be listening.

They showed up at Grey's around 7.30 and he, the ever gracious host, offered them a drink. They commented on his place and the view, which is what everyone does. And then he shared a joint with his client on the balcony while I bonded with the wife about losing her first pair of contact lenses when she was sixteen. Yeah, that's right, Grey shared a j with his client. And, it turns out that his client knows the president of the company that I work for. Not the president of the Canadian operation, the president of the entire company. How weird is that? The expression on Grey's face was priceless.

It ended up being a very couple-y kind of night. Grey was attentive and nice to me. I know he's capable but I'm sure he was doing it to impress the client. He spent most of the night pretending we were a couple. Actually, if I'm being honest, it was really comfortable and I actually thought it was really funny. For example, we were talking about property taxes in the city compared to the suburbs and the wife asked where I lived. When I said I lived on the other side of downtown but I was renting, Grey chimed in with a couple of comments on my condo. Yeah, that's right, the one he has never been inside. He also said how we like to spend Sundays lying on the couch after dim sum reading the paper and doing the crossword puzzle. I laughed out loud at that one. Not because it isn't true, but because we haven't done that since last November. And I thought it was funny that he was pretending we were a couple just to curry favour with the client. The client that he shared a j with and has golfed with and is otherwise totally comfortable around. I can't quite figure that one out.

Anyway, we walked home and they stayed for another hour, another drink, another j. When they finally left at 1 am, I decided to stay over because he didn't have to be up early. I finally got to smoke a bit of the j and that was good. I promptly lay down on top of him and passed out. When we finally went to bed, we had the best sex we've ever had.

It was truly amazing. It wasn't adventurous or elaborate. It was just regular old vanilla sex. But somehow it was incredible. Every movement felt really great. I'm not sure if it was the weed or the evening spent pretending to be a couple. I confess in the private pages of this blog entry that I had some truly shameful thoughts enter my head. "Pretending to be my boyfriend is turning him on" and "spending time with another couple made him realize what we have and he's finally realizing how great this is". I know, appalling. I was very high.

Waking up this morning was a little painful but we had sex and breakfast and then he reviewed my poster. He actually had some really great comments despite not wanting to understand the content. His feedback has probably improved my poster by leaps and bounds. Baby has spent a couple of hours reviewing it as well and her comments have been technically helpful but not as significant as his. Specifically, that I needed a take home message. He was absolutely right. I wish I could convince him not to sell himself short.

I'm driving him to the airport tomorrow. And then he's picking me up when I get back from Vancouver in 3 weeks. I wonder if I can somehow score a Sunday afternoon on his couch with the crossword puzzle after that?


Asshat said...

Could you take a picture of the poster and post it? I'm sure I'd be clueless about its content, but you've piqued my curiosity.

Also, weren't you just a little miffed about not being forewarned that this was going to be a double date and a business write-off? (I wonder if things have gone so far in Canada that you even can write off the cost of the joint).

You know I'm acidly cynical, but it sounds to me like you were being used a bit as a stand-in girlfriend prop. I guess it's all right, though, because you also got what you wanted. Except for the crosswords on the couch and hopefully that might still happen.

Take care of yourself.

Elusive Butterfly said...

Hi Asshat

I'm not sure about posting the poster. I'm just concerned about maintaining anonymity. Plus, it's 4.5'x4.5' so I'm not sure you'd be able to read it even if I did post it. If you have an email address, I can send it to you. You'd have to reveal your secret identity to me but I'll bite if you will ;)

I was a little miffed about not being forewarned and I did tell him that he should have told me before but only because it requires a different mentality to bond with a strange woman 15 years older than me with whom I have very little in common. But I don't really get upset about that stuff. Maybe I should but I really can't see that anyone got hurt. I just can't figure out why he even needed a stand-in girlfriend prop. If he's that comfortable with the client, why not just be open about our non-relationship? Maybe he didn't think that part through until it was happening and he felt sheepish about "using" me for that?

Asshat said...

It's great that you had the flexibility to deal with the surprise double date and to hit it off with the client's wife. I know some women who wouldn't have liked that situation at all.

From what you've written, I doubt that your feelings about the double date were foremost thing in Grey's mind, so I can't imagine that he felt too "sheepish" about much of anything at any point, but you'd be the better judge about that.

I think he needed a girlfriend prop because the client's wife was coming so he needed to make it a "couples" thing. The wife needed another woman to talk to. A threesome would have been too awkward. Plus, I'm sure you've heard that married men and those with steady girlfriends have a lot more credibility in the business world than single guys.

Elusive Butterfly said...

You're right. I just can't figure out why he was overdoing it. Probably because he was high.