Rescue

Grey rescued me today. I had sent him an email last night before I went to bed inviting him to go to dim sum and Shakespeare in the Park. Then, after the toilet incident, I emailed him again saying to scratch all that and asking if I could come over and hang out quietly in a corner by myself without talking. The part I'm leaving out here is that the washing machine now seems to be broken. It won't drain and I have a load of sewagey bath mats stewing in there. Grey sent back a sympathetic response and said he wanted to join us for dim sum.

So he did. And it was fine. Mrs Newlywed took a bit longer to warm up to him but he was trying so hard to be worthy (of me?) that I think they both really took a shine to him. He even told me that he only came to dim sum because he thought I wanted him to be there. Which is, of course, a bald-faced lie. But it's a sweet bald-faced lie. After that, they left to meet other friends and I went home with him. He bought me a paper, made out with me (which was lovely), let me nap and then finish the crossword in the sunny corner, cooked me dinner (spaghetti was so good) and started a movie (Be Kind, Rewind, it was terrible).

He also said he almost called me after he watched Definitely, Maybe. He called me a hopeless romantic and laughed when I reminded him that he's the hopeless romantic. "When my girlfriends tell me that I deserve better, someone who treats me well, I remind them, "isn't your husband making you fucking miserable?" Nothing romantic in that."

When he drove me home, I thanked him for rescuing me. And when he dropped me off, a guy with assless chaps walked by and made him howl with laughter. It really was the perfect day, minus the toilet washing machine incident.

I'm going to spend the next couple of hours before the newlyweds return watching recorded TV. Bones, CSI, Without a Trace, Law and Order. That is, if I can tune out the MEGABASS from the end of the Pride Week street party.

Disgusting

The upstairs toilet just overflowed through the ceiling vent into my bathroom. I am totally grossed out. Not to mention exhausted and a little high on bleach fumes. I bleached the toilet and the floor but the ceiling vent is still dripping into the toilet bowl. I showered and took out the garbage. Started laundry and bleached the garbage can. I still feel disgusting though. I have composed an email to my landlady but my work email is down right now so I can't send it. I really need to go back to sleep because I'm starting to feel like I'm coming down with something. I so tired. Poor me.

Shopping and church

My ex boyfriend became a deacon today. The actual church service was long and borderline excruciating but it was exciting to see so many people turn out and support him. I saw both of his parents. His mother for the first time in years, even though she lives down the street from me. I work with his dad so I didn't actually go and talk to him. I'm not sure if that made things more awkward or less but I was too intimidated to approach him. All of his high school friends were there and I think I may have received some dirty looks but I'm choosing to let them slide. All of that was ancient history and if he and I are past it, it's none of their damned business. Ooh, I probably shouldn't say "damned". My girlfriend said "hell no" when asked if she was coming camping with us next weekend and then quickly retracted it.

I spent the afternoon shopping with a friend who is visiting from India. She is 16 and very sweet. Smart and precocious without being obnoxious. I like her and that's really saying something given that she's a teenager! We both did some shopping and had lunch and I think it was a good day. I wish I could spend more time with her. I don't enjoy being this busy with other people's plans. Actually, I'm exhausted. Although that may have something to do with playing Wii Fit for several hours this evening.

Tomorrow is dim sum and Shakespeare in the Park. I think. I didn't speak with the unhappy newlyweds at all today so I'm not sure what the status is now. Perhaps I'll be able to leave them to their own devices and check out the Pride Parade tomorrow. Considering how many years I've lived in this city, it's really about time. What does a girl wear to Pride anyway? I'm thinking fluorescent green shorts and a John Deere t-shirt. Or maybe a bright pink skirt and blue sparkly tank. No, not outrageous enough. Perhaps it will come to me in a dream...

Unhappily ever after

Apparently, married life is a bitch. Especially the newlywedded bliss of year 1. How can that be?? There was an incident post-dinner today. My girlfriend and I polished off a bottle of wine and dessert in Little Italy leaving her husband at my place to stew in his boy juices. I think I will stick with Grey.

Homesick at home

I miss my bed already. I'm home and that feels good but I have friends staying from out of town. The same friends I stayed with in Vancouver. They're great people but I think I was built to live alone. I can't wait to get my apartment and my bed back. I know I'll miss them when they leave and the apartment will feel weird and empty. But I'm still uncomfortable.

I have to go see my supervisor tomorrow morning. I can't remember what he wants me to do anymore. It has been a while since I talked to him and he changed his mind a few times in between. I'm hoping he will have time to look at my data summary as well. I have no idea what I'm doing. As usual. Grad school is hard.

Home

Happy to be home again. Can't wait to get into bed. My own bed with my lovely sheets and my water pillow. Vancouver was fun but now I have to do laundry and get ready for my hosts to come visit me tomorrow. 5 nights of sleeping on the couch.

US Shopping Trip Day 1

I bought shoes! They're black velour ballet flats and cost $20 at Nordstrom Rack. I'm still undecided on the velour but they were comfortable and cheap. We had dinner at Red Lobster which was yummy if terrible. Tomorrow is Alderwood Mall and the Olive Garden. Hopefully we'll get to Target as well. It's across the street but the mall is open til 10 pm. I can't wait for Olive Garden breadsticks. I wish they would come back to Toronto.

Heading to the US of A

Going shopping this weekend. VS, Target, Nordstrom Rack, Bath & Body Works for starters. No laptop, no posts. Hopefully the driver coworker has mellowed. Looking forward to spending the weekend with the usual shopping coworker. Haven't seen her for two years and have missed her muchly.

Today was good. Bought much needed groceries in the morning followed by dim sum for lunch. Then the afternoon shopping for patio furniture. Dinner at the Dockside Restaurant on Granville Island with much bubbly and crab cakes. Waiter spilled salad dressing on me but bubbly and travel clothes negated the ill feeling. Theatresport improv and helping the hosts pack for their camping to finish off the day. Must brush teeth and go to sleep.

Lunch with old bosses tomorrow. Should be interesting. Will be prepared to fence re salary expectations and returning to Vancouver to work for the Company.

Damaged

I went to Cirque with a coworker tonight. Corteo. It was interesting. Not as gut wrenching as some of the other shows I have seen but it was still good and I'm sad that it's over. I supplemented my fridge magnet collection, bought a key chain that I have no intention of using as such, and a reusable canvas bag. I'm such a sucker for Cirque paraphernalia.

Overall, I had a pretty decent day. Morning was off to a slow start. My hostess' car broke down and she broke down shortly after her husband refused to rescue her. Seems as though all is not well in the land of newlyweddedness. There was crying and shocking low self-esteem to match my own. Dim sum for lunch followed by Kits Beach for the afternoon. There was much discussion about relationships and marriage.

I came to the conclusion today that I am just as damaged as Grey, if not more so. I definitely deserve what he doles out to me. I accept it and that's okay, even if it does make me cry randomly in the dark when I watch beautiful women play with hula hoops on a tightrope. I think that I will be single and live alone forever. No more boyfriends. Certainly no husband(s) or babies. No cats either though. At least, not for a very long time. Until all my friends' babies are toddling and that's the only way to prevent them from coming over.

Heading west

Just walking out the door to my second flight out. Third in two weeks, I guess. I saw Grey last night. He called while I was out to dinner with Baby and another girlfriend. He ostensibly called to find out how my trip was going but I think he knew somehow that I was back in town.

We were very efficient last night and I was home and packing by 10.30. After I broke the boyfriend rule, he started talking about other women. Someone his brother set him up on a date with while he was in Miami. And an old fling he went out with on Friday night with in Ottawa. The old fling is 28 and has MS. She was going to be his date to a wedding on Saturday but he took her out drinking on Friday night and her MS started acting up on Saturday so she couldn't go. He went to the ceremony but bailed on the reception. Serves him right. And the woman in Miami is the sister of the girl his brother is dating. They've been on 12 dates and haven't had sex yet. Which is, apparently why Grey didn't have sex either. I'm glad. I must remember to thank his brother.

When I pointed out how charming and lovely it was that he was talking about other women after my spectacular performance (his words), he apologized for making me feel shitty. Progress? Ha.

Event coordinator extraordinaire

Wedding was great. Did such a great job that I was offered a position with the caterer. Am half considering it. Why can't weddings be on Tuesdays and Thursdays?

Spent several hours sorting through and posting photos from Newfieland and wedding. Must sleep now so I can get up and repack and do laundry and clean more.

Not sure what to do in Vancouver Tuesday afternoon. Flight arrives at 2.30 pm but original ride from airport bailed. Substitute ride says he can collect me at 6.30 pm which obviously is ridiculous. May ditch luggage at office and go to the movies alone. Perhaps will bail on original ride's theatre show about lawyers (!) and have drinks with coworkers instead.

Home

I'm home and exhausted. I really can't write anything now. I can barely function but I'm attempting to back up my photos on my desktop. I know I don't have to do this now but I'm pushing myself. I have several GB of photos and video on my laptop but I don't have a DVD burner so I'm onto my fourth CD. It will only be a few more minutes now of copying and then I can go to bed. I'm really excited to sleep in my own bed. I really want to write about the trip and all of my shenanigans but the wedding is tomorrow and I have to be up early to get things started. I definitely don't want to get married myself. This entire thing is insane. I should post a screen capture shot of the schedule for tomorrow.

Maybe I'll make a quick list of things I have to blog about on Sunday:

1. Rules on presenting a poster and other conference tips.
2. How to survive a week long conference with your supervisor and two other grad students. Especially when sharing a room with a loud, abrasive colleague.
3. Tourist things to do St John's.
4. How shopping can make you feel both great and crappy.
5. Drunken shenanigans with supervisors, beer and karaoke.

Best conference ever

Finally back online. Supervisor showed up with a network cable this morning.

Today, I blew off most of the conference. Went to the plenary session and coffee break but then spa'd, had tea, hiked around the botanical gardens, returned to the poster session for a free drink, had dinner with the supervisor and other grad students plus an affable Texan we seem to have collected and then went on a Haunted Hike tour.

Must turn in now so as to do same tomorrow. Scheduled conference blowing off activities include finding a tall, rugged fisherman to bait my hook, wandering around St John's taking photos of picturesque houses with colourful painted siding, hiking down Signal Hill and a lobster dinner in the evening.

Bergy bits

I think love this province. In fact, I know I love small town Canada and that's definitely where I am now. St John's is so cute and quaint and lovely. It's a little cold here right now but our first day was great. Our flights arrived within 30 minutes of each other so we arrived at the hotel together and set out for lunch and a mini adventure. We walked around Duckworth and Water Streets, had lunch at a great restaurant called Get Stuffed. Mmm, cod. Then we went on an Iceberg quest and saw some "bergy bits". Definitely not icebergs by any stretch of the imagination but still exciting. Sadly, no whales this afternoon. Then we wandered around town some more, found George Street, picked up some deli meat, cheese (applewood cheddar and mango ginger stilton), dinner rolls and hot chocolates. We headed back to the hotel to eat and chill for a bit before heading back to George Street for drinks. It was snootier and pricier than I expected and I'm ready for bed now after two Kir Royales.

I can't write too much because my roommate is waiting to go to bed. I'll try to write more later. I'm looking forward to tomorrow.

Heading east

I'm going iceberg hunting tomorrow! I really must pack. Okay going to do that now. NOW!

Okay, I'm back. I'm packed. Laundry is done. A/C is turned on. Garbage and recycling are out. Dishes put away. VISA bill paid. Bathroom and kitchen cleaned. Birthday bamboo watered. I have a couple of last minute items to pack after my 5 am shower and then I'll be good to go. I hope I don't forget my poster! The thing is friggin' long. Almost as long as me at just over 4'. The other grad student is definitely flying them back unless I decide to ditch it. At $130 it's not the cheapest item to ditch but I can't imagine I'll need it again and it's a piece of crap anyway.

I really missed Grey the last couple of days. Although I have been looking forward to June for weeks now, I also have a reason to look forward to coming home. If he's not at the airport on the 25th, he had better have a damn good reason. Lying in the hospital attached to an IV would qualify.

For the first time, I'm considering traveling without my journal. I have opted to take Pillars of the Earth on the plane and I hope I don't regret it. I started it months ago and never got into it. But the thought of traveling without a novel scares me more than traveling without my journal. With the laptop and other crap, I don't have space for my journal and I won't pack it in case my checked luggage gets lost. I'm assuming I will have internet access for the most part. And, if not, there will be a series of posts when I return. I only ever write in my journal when things are going horribly wrong anyway. And with two other grad students and a supervisor, I imagine I'll be pretty busy either being bored out of my tree at conference proceedings or trying to surreptitiously duck out of said conference proceedings.

I think it's time to watch the remainder of CSI Miami and then sleep. This time tomorrow, I'll be blogging in Newfieland! Or drunk in Newfoundland. Either is fine with me.

Temporary insanity (aka sleep deprivation makes me risk tolerant)

Just dropped Grey off at the airport. I don't do well with seeing him in the morning. I was smoking a cigarette in the car on the drive home at 9.40 am. Ick. But it was otherwise a nice little send off. I got a couple of hugs and kisses so those will have to tide me over for 3 weeks. I also selected four blog entries to give him as reading material.

On Tuesday when we were having dinner, it somehow came up that I keep a journal. He asked me why I keep a journal and whether I ever wrote about him (!) and if he could read it. When I asked why he might want to read my journal, what I could possibly have to write that he might be interested in, he asked me what would happen when I died. I can't imagine that anyone would be interested in my journals now that I'm no longer a teenager and my mother can't control my life anymore. But if someone other than me is reading this, I guess there is some interest! He convinced me that I have a way with words and he enjoys reading my writing.

So I gave him a blog entry that I wrote (on my now non-existent, not anonymous blog) in July 2006 shortly before I moved back to this city. I also gave him Happy Sunday, Do normal relationships exist? and Two can be as bad as one.

I'm banking heavily on his ludditeness that he won't have the technological wherewithal to search for any key phrases in Google. I removed all references to blogs and changed all the names back except for Mr Rebound. And there were many caveats. Don't read it all at once. Don't criticize or provide feedback or otherwise comment or respond. Don't let anyone else read it. Don't freak out because I wrote the October/November entries before the "I'm not in love with you" incident.

Maybe it was a mistake but it's a risk I'm prepared to take.

Questionable aphrodisiacs

The concert was great. Tom Petty is a good performer and a live show is always fun. No corporate box sadly, but I still had a good time. I showed up at Grey's with hair and make up done. We had dinner and then he asked for sex and then a blowjob and then if he could just play with my breasts. All of which I declined on account of having spent an hour on hair and make up. He's such a charmer.

I decided against the outrageously hot top because it was cold and rainy all day. I chose something more in keeping with my conservative style. That would be a black top and jeans with cute but walkable heels. It's a good thing I did. It ended up being a double date with a client and the client's wife. It's probably a good thing that Grey didn't warn me about that because I get weird and awkward on fake double dates with strangers. Fortunately the client's wife did most of the talking. I'm better at listening than talking unless I'm drunk and then I could care less what comes out of my mouth or who might be listening.

They showed up at Grey's around 7.30 and he, the ever gracious host, offered them a drink. They commented on his place and the view, which is what everyone does. And then he shared a joint with his client on the balcony while I bonded with the wife about losing her first pair of contact lenses when she was sixteen. Yeah, that's right, Grey shared a j with his client. And, it turns out that his client knows the president of the company that I work for. Not the president of the Canadian operation, the president of the entire company. How weird is that? The expression on Grey's face was priceless.

It ended up being a very couple-y kind of night. Grey was attentive and nice to me. I know he's capable but I'm sure he was doing it to impress the client. He spent most of the night pretending we were a couple. Actually, if I'm being honest, it was really comfortable and I actually thought it was really funny. For example, we were talking about property taxes in the city compared to the suburbs and the wife asked where I lived. When I said I lived on the other side of downtown but I was renting, Grey chimed in with a couple of comments on my condo. Yeah, that's right, the one he has never been inside. He also said how we like to spend Sundays lying on the couch after dim sum reading the paper and doing the crossword puzzle. I laughed out loud at that one. Not because it isn't true, but because we haven't done that since last November. And I thought it was funny that he was pretending we were a couple just to curry favour with the client. The client that he shared a j with and has golfed with and is otherwise totally comfortable around. I can't quite figure that one out.

Anyway, we walked home and they stayed for another hour, another drink, another j. When they finally left at 1 am, I decided to stay over because he didn't have to be up early. I finally got to smoke a bit of the j and that was good. I promptly lay down on top of him and passed out. When we finally went to bed, we had the best sex we've ever had.

It was truly amazing. It wasn't adventurous or elaborate. It was just regular old vanilla sex. But somehow it was incredible. Every movement felt really great. I'm not sure if it was the weed or the evening spent pretending to be a couple. I confess in the private pages of this blog entry that I had some truly shameful thoughts enter my head. "Pretending to be my boyfriend is turning him on" and "spending time with another couple made him realize what we have and he's finally realizing how great this is". I know, appalling. I was very high.

Waking up this morning was a little painful but we had sex and breakfast and then he reviewed my poster. He actually had some really great comments despite not wanting to understand the content. His feedback has probably improved my poster by leaps and bounds. Baby has spent a couple of hours reviewing it as well and her comments have been technically helpful but not as significant as his. Specifically, that I needed a take home message. He was absolutely right. I wish I could convince him not to sell himself short.

I'm driving him to the airport tomorrow. And then he's picking me up when I get back from Vancouver in 3 weeks. I wonder if I can somehow score a Sunday afternoon on his couch with the crossword puzzle after that?

Shoooooooes!

Today, this made me laugh. "My only meaningful relationship [is] with my shoe collection."

Because, today, I went to the mall to return some shoes I bought on Saturday afternoon. I bought a pair of shoes because I was feeling not so great about myself and they looked good on my feet. I knew that I had an almost identical pair of designer shoes at home which cost less because I bought them at a sample sale. But I bought them anyway. The regret set in shortly thereafter and, on Sunday, I decided I would return them this afternoon.

While I was at the shoe store, I found the cutest pair of shoes ever. Go on, click on the pictures. Are they fabulous or are they fabulous? That's right, they're outrageously fabulous.




I had seen these shoes months ago but today they were finally on sale. And they were comfortable and they had them in my size! So I bought them. And now I'm happy and excited. Not sure where I'm going to wear them first. Maybe to Newfoundland?

Anyway, that's enough happy stuff for one day. My supervisor came back from wherever he spent the last two weeks hiding. And there was bad news. My samples swamped the analyzer at the lab. We couldn't figure out why for the longest time. He thinks that maybe the undergrad student that made the stock solution didn't read the label on the bottle properly and mixed up the 14N with the 15N. This means that all of my samples are completely useless. Really, it's great. Now I won't have the data that I need for my conference poster and I'm going to spend the next 4 days trying to fill white space with poorly disguised crap.

My shoulder hurts already. Back to the grindstone.

Solo date night

I went to the movies alone today. Me. Alone. It was not as scary as I thought it would be. It was scary trying to talk myself into it, and originally I hadn't planned to go alone. I sent an email to Big Mac and Grey and the guy who wrote Mr Rebound and a couple of girlfriends. But, of course, everyone was busy. I was on the phone until the very last minute and then I had to rush to get out of the house and get to theatre with enough time to get the kid's pack of popcorn and see the trailers. Once I was out of the house, it was just like any other day walking around campus on my way to meet someone or run errands. Who knew it could be so easy? As an aside, the kid's pack is the perfect size for me. A small bag of popcorn, a small pop and a small packet of twizzlers. They should almost call it the Singles Pack.

It turned out that I was plenty early and/or the movie started really late. Probably the most uncomfortable part was sitting by myself in the centre of the second highest row (my preferred theatre seating because that places me in the centre of the screen) waiting for the movie to start and watching couples and groups of friends pile in. It wasn't busy so that helped but there weren't even ads to keep my brain occupied. I ended up texting Grey and X that I was at the movies by myself.

X was proud of me, I think. He had gone to see Indiana Jones and didn't like it and Grey was at home, naturally. I saw Made of Honour first. I'm not a huge fan of Grey's Anatomy but McDreamy really is dreamy. Patrick Dempsey did nothing for me before the season finale of Grey's Anatomy. But now I think I'm in gusty stomach-sighing lust with that man.

The second movie was easier because I had to rush to get to the bathroom and get a seat and missed most of the trailers. But, given they were both girly movies, they probably had all the same trailers. Usually by the time I'm done watching all the trailers, I've forgotten what I came to see. The second movie was Baby Mamma. It wasn't quite as funny as I expected it to be but I did enjoy it. Tina Fey can blend well-timed comedy with sincerity and realistic Oh Crap moments. I should watch her other movies.

I think the most exciting part of the evening was the trailer for Mamma Mia. I have been waiting my entire life to see Colin Firth and Pierce Brosnan in a movie together and it's happening this summer! That movie could be a giant pile of crap but I'm already planning to buy the DVD. Those two are in my top three. I may have to replace Mike Holmes with Patrick Dempsey as my third.

I think I'll go watch the second half of Pride and Prejudice before bed. Sigh.

Cancel the bouquet toss

I'm going to be the only single person at the wedding I'm coordinating in two weeks. Yay me.