Saturday, September 22, 2007

I'm an idiot

I'm such a fool. If he didn't have my number until I called him, does that mean he thought he was texting someone else? There were two messages that didn't make sense. I thought he was just tired. But now I realize that they might have been out of context, because he thought I was someone else. I feel like an idiot now. Should I bring this up with him? Does it matter? Obviously I care but why? Is it just that I don't like feeling stupid or is it more than that? Maybe I do care what he was thinking when he wrote those messages. If they weren't intended for me, they didn't mean anything. So how could something meaningless affect the way that I felt at the time? I was confused, and that was partly the reason for calling him. To talk to him. But I was also happy to just get the messages. Am I really that pathetic?

Hopefully an alternative explanation will present itself in the morning. If not, I guess I'll have to figure out a way to not feel stupid. Or just care less about feeling stupid. He must think I'm an idiot. Why do I care what he thinks about me?

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