Saturday, March 3, 2007

Green-eyed bandit

I don't recall ever having been jealous in my life. Jealousy is about insecurity. I'm jealous now. He didn't come home last night til after 6 am when he said he'd be home before 8 pm. I waited for him until 3.30 am before my body rebelled and I went to sleep. At lunch yesterday, some girl showed him porn on her cell phone. He said it made him uncomfortable but he watched the entire thing play out to the end. That made me uncomfortable too but I'd rather not over-analyze it.

What was he doing last night? When he was out with me, we danced til 5 am. Together. Just the two of us. Last night he was out with his buddies. Last night when I was waiting up, I couldn't concentrate on studying - not that I tried very hard - and I was worried that something had happened to him. I guess I shouldn't bother doing that anymore. I guess I'm just jealous of time with the boys.

I think this is my karmic reminder to focus on me again. School, school, school, work, sleep, yoga, pilates.

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