Thursday, May 28, 2009

Guy code

Tonight he said he missed me and would call me but no phone call. We all know that's the dating kiss of death. Guy speak for: hey you're hot and all but not great enough for me to stick around and deal with your personality.

Sigh.

I want to cut the guy some slack because of the kid and all but, at the same time, I don't want to be naive about him just because he has extra responsibilities. He knew that he needed to call me tonight if he wanted to make plans for the weekend. So no plans involving boys this weekend.

What is wrong with me? Am I that awful?

8 comments:

Awkward, for you said...

No he's just being a dink.

Elusive Butterfly said...

Thanks :) But it's hard not to take it personally. Rejection sucks.

Awkward, for you said...

Rejection sucks indeed. BUT were you really THAT into him? I get a feeling you were settling.

SaneAndSingle said...

I'm in a similar situation with RM. He is hot and cold and blames the cold moments on his kids. Like you, I want to cut him some slack, but don't we (you and I) deserve to be a priority too?

geekhiker said...

Maybe he thought you weren't that in to him. I mean, here on the blog you wrote a post in which you detailed a number of perceived flaws, including his wanting to move to fast. Perhaps he picked up on that?

Or maybe it's even simpler: you want things at two different paces, and can't match speeds...

Elusive Butterfly said...

Yes, I would love to be in a normal relationship with a normal guy who can be available when I need him to be and not just when our schedules match. Sigh.

GH, our communication about this stuff is all out in the open and I haven't hinted or suggested anything. I have stated outright that he has come on way too strong and that I don't trust his feelings exactly because, in my experience, guys like that cool off even faster. We had dinner on Friday and he said something to the effect that we would be married before next summer and he would love to have a kid with me. It's freakishly weird how he's 2000% one day and basically unreachable the next. I'm not sure I can handle it. I am a fan of consistency and this is certainly not it.

Asshat said...

He's just got through with his e-divorce and he's got a son? He's probably a mess and doesn't know whether he's coming or going. If it's consistency you want, you'd better look elsewhere.

Elusive Butterfly said...

Asshat, you're absolutely right. I don't know what I was thinking. Thanks for the sanity check.