Thursday, February 12, 2009

Out on a limb... or am I?

I think I mentioned I have been writing to C le V every day since he left last weekend. Tomorrow morning will be day 7. I'm thinking it might be time to put this letter in the mail. But I'm not sure if I should. I have written honestly, and thoughtfully, but I have put myself out there a little bit. Even the act of having written to him every day seems maybe a little bit... stalkerish? I don't know. Is it romantic or is it just lame? I think he will appreciate it but I honestly don't know. I don't know him well enough to gauge whether he will be overwhelmed or ecstatic. He has said before that he enjoys our emails. That he missed our daily correspondence when I was traveling. And I miss it now that he's traveling. I would like to believe I would be happy to receive such a letter from him. But should I send it?

On the one hand, I have little to lose. Just some pride and dignity should this not work out and he publishes them on the internet to general scorn and mockery. But I don't think I have revealed anything truly intimate. Just some feelings for him. Mostly mundane stuff though.

On the other hand, what is there to gain? Maybe by putting myself out on that limb, I run the risk of falling. And who knows what lies below? A snake pit? A black lagoon? A house on fire? Or maybe it will be good things, like lambs and baby pink elephants and puppies and marshmallows.

I will decide tomorrow. The envelope is addressed and stamped in case I feel brave and post it on the spur of the moment. More likely I will do the same thing I did with all of my letters and emails to Grey. They went to the graveyard of the written word: the recycling bin.

4 comments:

Asshat said...

Baby pink elephants? I haven't seen those since I quit drinking.

I imagine that the Cpt. is flattered to get all that mail.

Amy said...

Confusion SUCKS!

geekhiker said...

So did you send it?

I know for me, I would love to know that someone was thinking about me while I was gone. Then again, I'm a hopeless romantic...

Elusive Butterfly said...

I did :) I really hope he doesn't freak out and do a runner. But hey, if he does, I'll just start writing to you!