Tuesday, February 5, 2008


In my head, I still have conversations with him. I wonder if I can finish my degree in this state of mind. I need to be happy and feel loved to be productive. I'm depressed. I can't sleep at night and I can't get out of bed in the morning. I'm exhausted during the day. I don't want to eat. I don't know how to take care of myself. I'm not happy. I seek mental distraction everywhere except work. Because I can't focus on the work. The voices in my head are loudest when I'm inside my head. I use TV to drown them out. Or social events. I want to be finished soon so that I have money leftover to go traveling and buy my own place. But I have no desire to actually finish. To do good work and create a worthwhile product. I just want to be with him. I wonder if he still thinks of me sometimes.

No comments: