Hey, why does the gym have to be such stinkin' hard work? Don't get me wrong, when I do failure sets on the pull-up machine thingy, it feels pretty damn good. But man, I am just too exhausted by the time I have walked home (carrying my gym bag and the laptop and a bag of groceries) to pull my sports bra up over my head. I'm going to invent some sort of alternative. I envision that it will have cups which somehow fasten over your shoulders and then sorta down around your hips or something. Wait, have I just created the Borat bathing suit? Ew. Never mind. I better go back to the couch before I actually hurt myself.
Oh ya, there's one other thing. There's this new guy at work who is totally friendly and cute and personable and well-dressed and comes to visit me every day (okay he doesn't have to go far because he's in the office across the aisle). However, I totally have a crush on him. Yes, I realize this means he is probably a gigantic jerk but whatever. I can still have a crush, right? Right. So check out this email that douchebag sent me today, subject was "FYI"...
I went to lunch with L, V, and that new guy from your floor. So we were all talking and he said something about how he loves seeing you in the morning because you are so ‘gorgeous’ or some crap like that. I was totally about to pop him one for saying it. What a jerk eh?! I can’t believe he’d say that. LOL..
Okay – I am kind of jealous – but felt like telling you anyway.
PS. All of that [confidential work stuff] crap flared up and went down. And who said ‘it was nothing’ about a month ago? You did – and then I did..and now I get to look like a mr. schmarty pants. Thanks.
Two things which totally crack me up: First, I can't believe he's sucking up to me now. And two, how crazy that he's calling this new guy a jerk?
You know what I think is cute though? The new guy came to see me after lunch and told me that some people were talking about me, specifically my fabulous taste in shoes. Le sigh... Now, everyone knows that I have great shoes but few people know that the way to this woman's heart is through her shoes. Major brownie points for new guy. I look forward to an exciting (short-term) future of harmless office flirtation.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
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6 comments:
Perhaps you should just ask for assistance with your sports bra. I'd just bet you'd get some takers.
Your office seems to churn with lust. Does much work really get done there?
It's not my office, it's just me ;)
Asshat, will you help me out of my sports bra please? Saturday, noon-ish. I'll be sweaty but it'll be worth it!
I'll help you remove your bra using my secret powers of telekinesis. Just imagine your fingers are my fingers and feverishly tear it off. Actually, Saturday I'll probably be riding my bicycle somewhere in Amish country, unless it rains.
Why? Do the Amish forbid raincoats?
There's an organized bike tour through Amish country I was planning on. But,I'm not going to ride my bike in the rain, especially there. Wet roads and moist horse poop left by the buggy traffic are a bad mixture for cyclists. I don't know how the Amish feel about raincoats. I suppose they also have the good sense to not ride their bicycles in the rain, in any event.
Apparently my attempt at humour failed miserably. Moist horse poop sounds delightful. What's the backup plan?
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