I need a date

I need a date the evening of Friday February 6 at around 6 pm.

You will:

1. Drive
2. Be polite
3. Be witty
4. Be well-dressed
5. Behave
6. Be fed (your dinner and half of mine)
7. Be entertained (mildly)
8. Bemused, when I explain I found you on dial-a-date. Well, come on, I can't tell my coworkers I have a blog!
9. Berated when you dunk your head in the chocolate fountain

I will look fabulous.

First come, first served. Actually no, convince me. Okay, GO!

Okay, in all seriousness, I asked MFV and he originally said yes but has since changed his mind about coming to Toronto. I can't ask Jesus because my coworker (the one who introduced us) had invited him and has since uninvited him. How awkward would it be if *I* showed up with him?