Monday, July 6, 2009

Lonely

I can't believe I'm actually lonely. I'm sitting here, pretending to work on my thesis, next to the dog, and I'm freakin' lonely. What the hell is wrong with me? Sigh. Maybe I'm just feeling down because it's Monday night, I'm tired, stressed and it's extremely quiet in here. There's just the sound of me typing, the dog breathing and the fridge. And some traffic. I'm not sure why the quiet bugs me here. Maybe because I'm not in my own home? Last time I was here, the TV was in the living room and, despite not getting cable, I could turn it on and get whatever the antenna picked up. The dog seemed to like the noise and it didn't seem quite so intimidating to be here by myself. Not that I'm by myself. The dog is pretty good company when he's not being a hyper spaz.

It got so bad that I phoned Grey. I actually picked up the phone, dialed his number and did not have a conversation with him. He was working as usual. I attempted to have a conversation with him but he just wasn't having any of it. I shouldn't have called. Obviously I know that. I'm just retarded. So then I cried a bit and the dog came and put his head in my lap and stared up at me with his huge black eyes. That helped. I feel like an idiot. Maybe it's just hormones.

2 comments:

geekhiker said...

Dogs just know, don't they? Damn, I really need to get one...

imerika said...

We all have moments of weakness. Don't beat yourself up over this one.

hang in there...