Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Lonely

I'm homesick. My Twitter/facebook update would go something like this if I wasn't afraid of sounding too vulnerable in front of the whole world:

Missing the sound of the furnace kicking on, the water sloshing around in my pillow, the feel of my bamboo sheets against my legs, the zen view from the couch, the hum of the fridge, my bedside water carafe, blue LEDs in my computer, the knowledge that I can walk around in the dark with minimal risk of bodily injury... Which is not to say that I am unhappy. Just feeling alone in the Universe and disconnected from the things which normally comfort me.

But actually, I am unhappy. I bought two pairs of shoes today which almost makes up for this disconnected, discombobulated feeling. Almost. Something isn't right in the world. I know what it is. It's the reason I spent the latter part of this evening watching the hockey game with a glass of sauvignon blanc and my shopping bags in a bar on Davie Street. I don't know how to fix it though. These things are apparently quite beyond me. What I want most is to bolt. I'm really good at running away. But what if I run away and never come back?

6 comments:

Single and Picky said...

Having a hard time adjusting to Vancouver? It can be hard to find people - I'd suggest checking out the Drive or Main - JJ Bean on Main is always full of people who want to talk.

I read often but I guess as that is the point of anony. blogging I don't know what really to suggest that would be perfect for you, stick with it - we've got lots to offer though we are often cold to nice new people when we shouldn't be

Ms Behaviour said...

I can see how this post can be misinterpreted but no, that was not what was going on. All is right now though so don't fear :)

Asshat said...

Isn't sitting in a bar and watching hockey a Canadian ideal? If that, and new shoes, didn't resort your attitude, not much will. And thinking about running away, while craving the familiar, doesn't make much sense, either. In fact, it sounds exhausting.

I suggest you need to be in your own place and that place has long since become Toronto.

Single and Picky said...

Good to hear I didn't want my fellow cranky without their Starbucks Vancouverites to be causing you any stress.

itneverrainsinseattle said...

Well, you have a friend in Seattle if you ever want to pop by for a visit.

The Angel and Demon Within said...

Big moves usually leave us feeling a bit lonely. The best cure is to go out and explore. Drive around and get to know the area. Being able to have someone special visit who you can show off your new home and town will be fun too.