Saturday, April 28, 2007

My back hurts

So this will not be a very long post. I should be writing a paper to justify my thesis research but I've done nothing for the last ten days because I am completely and utterly unmotivated and I deserve to fail out of grad school. I just can't seem to wrap my head around this. Most of the time, I have sat at my desk groaning and muttering to myself. I finally did a bit today because I'm starting to feel a bit of pressure.

Last night, I felt obligated to go out and meet a friend who I haven't seen since I moved back. I didn't have the greatest time but I did pick up bubble tea afterwards so that was yummy in my tummy. Then I thought I was going out tonight but those plans fell through. Actually, both sets of plans fell through. But I did some work this afternoon thinking that I was going. And then a third group of friends called to say they were going salsa dancing. I sort of wanted to go and, if they had picked my up, I probably would have. But their car was full and I can't handle driving to, and showing up at, a club by myself. Not to mention paying for cover just isn't in the budget. And because I'm taking pain killers, I wouldn't be drinking. Or, more likely, I would have had a drink because I can't deal with dancing with strangers while sober. But the whole drinking, driving, prescription painkillers combo... I think I made a good decision out of fear and laziness tonight. Yay, me.

I should email B to tell him I'm going to bed, then prop my knees up on some pillows and read until I fall asleep or I hear the sound of an MSN message come through my headphones. We had big fights this week and required arbitration by Fiona and she really did help. I'm a bit concerned (that's secret code for jealous) that they are now facebook friends and have each other on MSN but I'm sure I have nothing to worry about. He really is so good to me. I don't deserve him.

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