Douchebags in elevators

I spent an inordinate amount of time with new guy and Douchebag today. New guy and I went to the Remembemererance Day ceremony at City Hall which was good. Except that, on the way there, he pulled me towards him in the elevator and tried to give me another face hickey and then, on the way back in the elevator, asked me what my breast size was.

Him: "what's your boob size?"
Me: stare of death (apparently futile)
Him: "B?"
Me: look of condescending superiority
Him: "C??"
Me: look of condescending smugness
Him: "nice"

Naturally, none of this prevented me from having lunch with him where he alternately ignored me in favour of his (not one but) two (!) blackberries and told me stories about the girls he has slammed/dated in the past. Truly charming.

Douchebag, on the other hand, was considerably better behaved today. We went downstairs for a mid-afternoon sugar break and, when we were waiting for the elevator, he said, "you're a very pretty girl, you know that?" I rolled my eyes and shot him a mental, "fuck you, I'm a woman not a girl, moron".

Hmm, maybe the problem is actually men + elevators.

aSSHAT

What more can a girl ask for? Asshat. Where are you Asshat?

Perfection

Today is turning out to be pretty perfect. This morning I got called for an interview for the only job to which I have applied since I finished school. It's pouring rain and sunny and I'm under the rainbow (not sure if this means I'm the pot of gold or the leprechaun) and there are dump trucks and steam rollers working outside my window. MFV sent me chocolates from Daniel le chocolat Belge for my birthday and I just ate a hazelnut mouse. It was like having a party in my mouth. I mean, really, what else can a girl ask for?

2^ 5 has been the best birthday ever

I just had the best birthday ever. MFV phoned at 11.30 to wish me a happy almost birthday and we probably talked for a couple of hours about stuff and stuff. It was tough to get up in the morning but it sorta felt like Christmas - minus that whole having to go to work thing. I got my free birthday latte from Starbucks - yay! - and my coworkers took me out to lunch which was so surprising and really nice. I really did not expect that at all. I even brought my lunch today which I NEVER do.

In the afternoon, I met up with my financial advisor. That was my birthday present to myself. I didn't lose as much as I thought in the last couple of years. Only around 4 or 5% of my portfolio. This was due to sheer dumb luck. When I last saw her in 2007, I had intended to buy a place in 2008 so we moved a lot out of equity into money market. Then, because I didn't see her for 2 years, we never moved it back out and I weathered the storm quite nicely. Actually, I should give her more credit for that. I'm sure that if I had been too aggressive with my equity balance, she would have let me know. She also asked me about my target retirement age. Whether I was looking at 60 or 55. I laughed and said 55 would be nice but, considering that I'm 32 years old today and still don't own a house, I doubt I can do both. She said she would run some numbers and see what happens.

Then the girls came over this evening for dinner. Pink dress made vegetarian chili which is phenomenal. Our mutual friend brought wine and cheese, all of which were fabulous. She also brought over molten chocolate lava mini cakes. Oh lord. And my belly dance teacher brought herself and some cheery spirits. It was really nice. It was good to feel loved. Also, my facebook wall literally exploded today. It was really unexpected and overwhelming and touching to feel so much love in my life.

But the icing on my cake might have been unexpectedly receiving a gift in the mail from MFV. He mailed me a Moroccan teapot stuffed with chocolates from Daniel le chocolat Belge. And a really sweet card. I might be falling in love with that stupid boy.

Teeter-totter

Did you know that, in the UK, they call teeter-totters "see-saws"? I grew up with see-saws. I feel like I'm on one right now. It sucks ass. On Friday afternoon, I talked to the other guy at the office. That man could sell crap to a crap salesman (sorry to whomever I plagiarized that from but it's apt and I would reference you if I remembered who you were, seriously). Anyway, I'm now waffling between 90% and 99% decided on the west coast. So much so that I'm started to get all weepy and shit thinking about the people I will be leaving behind. Again. I even got all teary when douchebag texted me, "i don't want you to go". Faaaak. But I want to go. I do. I just wish I could take everyone with me.