Sunday morning

I'm procrastinating. On Sunday! About going out! I do this often. I just want to stay home and be spooned by my couch most of the time. Is that so much to ask? I'm a recovering grad student, after all.

Yesterday, I finally dragged my ass out of the house about 3 pm for coffee, cash and One of a Kind Show (yes, again). I want to post all of the awesome and cool things that I saw there! I know I said I would do that last week but I haven't had the energy. Maybe tonight? Ahh, who am I kidding? They will just live forever in my head and in the little pile of cards on my desk. I should find a place for those. Some great, unusual gift ideas lie in that little pile.

I spent around 3 hours at the show wandering around by myself, sampling food and buying trinkets for myself. I thought about the art that I wanted to put on my imaginary condo walls. And I decided that I'm going to wait until I have said condo and then put up some of my own photos. And one or two of MFV's. He's an incredible photographer.

I took the long way home - 2 streetcars instead of the subway. At Bathurst and Queen, I saw a woman standing, waiting for the southbound car dressed in a leopard hoodie/cape thing complete with little ears and whiskers. She was waving excitedly as we passed by. Then, a couple of blocks north of that, we passed a house with a sign in the window, "Steam baths". We have steam baths in Toronto? Apparently we do. As we passed the back of the house, two police officers were leading a large man out onto the street in handcuffs. I think that was my first arrest. Ahem, not *my* first arrest! But you know what I mean. My first time seeing one in real life. Crazy.

Then I had sushi with my toxic ex-coworker and her brother and his gf. I have decided I don't like her family that much either. Must spend less time.

And today, I'm off to the mall and the orifice, the post office and two feedings by nice Indian parents (not mine, fortunately!). While I do not object to the feedings, I could use a bit more couch time today.

Must practice lying

A couple of funny things happened tonight while I was hanging with the septuagenarian crew that I just have to blog about.

First: Indian alcohol advice.

Whiskey then beer: in the clear,
Beer then whiskey: very risky.

Second: I really must practice lying.

The folks etc were hanging out talking and shooting the shit when they got to talking about experimenting with drugs. I was quietly minding my business reading my thesis on the couch when my "aunt" (who is very cool and a wonderful person) turns to me and says, "Ms B, have you ever tried marijuana?"

Holy duck, I almost had an aneurysm! Normally I would not have lied to her but in front of my parents!

So I said, "no! And even if I had, I would lie in front of my parents!"

Frig. I'm not sure my parents were convinced and I couldn't even look at my dad after that for a while. Mind you, he didn't look at me either so I wonder what he has been up to.

Must practice my poker face!

Being a girl

GH suggested I turn these two lists into a blog entry so here it is. There was some sort of context related to my mother slamming my choice of wedding attire vs. the outfits I wore to my ex-boyfriend's ordination and reception today. (Please no wisecracks about my ex becoming a priest! We dated 14 years ago so it's ancient history).

The reason I prefer to wear a sari over a dress:

1. No hair removal (waxing, shaving, other godawful crap like that)
2. No pantyhose or thongs (ick). I accidentally bought a Lululemon thong this week and it was $14. $14!!! For butt floss!!! Augh.
3. No control top underwear or Spanx to suck and tuck in the jelly rolls. Control top is heinous.
4. I can eat as much as I want and just hike it up a bit when it starts to get tight ;)
5. I have a lot of saris and very few occasions to wear them.
6. I have like maybe 4 dresses. I never wear them. I don't feel comfortable in them. I don't know why.
7. They're much prettier than dresses.
8. I'm non-traditional in just about all respects so it's fun to dress traditionally when I'm around people who know my personality.
9. You can get away with fancier jewelry.
10. Nobody notices hair or make up or manicures or pedicures. So overall less work.

Now, the things that are bad about saris:

1. I don't *really* know how to put them on so they have a tendency to fall off when I dress myself.
2. It's nearly impossible (for me) to drive when wearing one
3. I can't walk as fast as I normally walk
4. Going to the bathroom is a giant pain in the ass (for me)
5. It's hard to dance
6. There's a lot of fabric (~30 yards) so it can get hot under there!

So today I went to church in the morning and then to the reception in the evening. For some reason, I thought it would be smart to shave my legs and wear a skirt. In the thunderstorms and hail. My toes were numb after standing in church for 2 hours. It was a full Catholic mass and then some. Augh.

This evening, I wore a black dress. I had to wear a thong. Friggin' hell those things are uncomfortable! I should have worn flats but I wore heels. Thankfully, Baby and Robert dragged me out but we couldn't get into The Courthouse so I was home and in my pjs before midnight. I'm going to bed right now.

The nice guy blow-off

I realized I had to run some errands on Thursday (drug store, drop off paperwork, eat lunch) so I went out and bought shoes.




I'm glad I did because the rest of my day was kinda crappy. 516 is definitely not interested so I deleted his number and all of his text messages.

This morning wasn't much improved either. Yesterday I sent my mother an email telling her that my supervisors had set a defense date and asking her to help me plan vacation for August. Her response? That the gorgeous green georgette silk sari I picked out myself and wore to the wedding wasn't formal enough. My mother is a bitch. I hate her again. I haven't felt this way in several years but forget about family vacation. I'm not even going to my graduation. If she decides to go, she can pick up my degree for me. I wrote her a long and hateful flamer but didn't send it. I'll probably just ignore her for a while and tell A's mother how I'm feeling. She's pretty much guaranteed to tell my mother.

Also, I think I'm starting to get sick. A lot of people at the wedding were sick so I figured it was only 3 to 5 days before I started to feel it. It's either NYC withdrawal or H1N1.

I'm so miserable. I think the only remedy is pizza and the couch.

Parental insanity

I said I wasn't going to blog until I got home to Canadia but the parental insanity is driving me up the wall. I know I'm going to miss my parents
when I leave but my dad is driving me up the freakin' wall. He's 69
and seriously getting senile. He follows me from room to room and
won't leave me alone for 2 minutes! I can't even have a conversation
with A when he's home so I call her when he goes out for his
walks or goes to "work". He's retired but still practices a bit.
Every couple of hours I shout at him to stop following me around which, of course, makes me feel guilty but I'm going insane here. And then he conveniently comes up with
some computer problem for me to fix. The last one was that he somehow
turned on the hidden punctuation in Word and couldn't turn it off.
Sheesh. And he asks me every single day if I'm going to shower in the
evening even though I've showered in the morning. As if that's not
enough insanity, I went shopping with my mother yesterday and she's
serious about getting a Wii. My mom! With a Wii?! I'm going mental
here people! Okay, I'm going to bed because I spent most of the day
throwing up. To be fair to both of them, they looked after me this morning when I was puking and pooping which was a really nice change from begging Grey (or some other random guy) to bring me drugs after work. My dad went to the grocery store to get plain white bread so I could eat toast. My mom put a cold towel against my forehead when I was throwing up. My dad gave me drugs. My mom helped me make soup (she had just done her nails so she couldn't actually do it for me). And they let me sleep and monopolize the TV all afternoon and evening. So yes, it was nice to have them around for that and I know it will be harder the next time I'm alone and sick. But still... they're my parents and they're making me batty. I can't wait to get home!

I back! Sort of...

So it appears that my dial up internet access in Delhi did not like blogger. Most days I couldn't even get into my email which was a real pain. Although, it may not have mattered really as I had very little time for writing. I barely touched my journal which was with me every moment of every day! It's strange. Last time I traveled like this three years ago, it was all I could do to not fill up my journal before the end of my trip. I guess there was just too much going on this time around. There's lots to write about but I'm going to stick with my journal until I get home. There is only one user login on this laptop and the last thing I need is my parents finding my blog! The mortification... See you all soonly though. I'm home next Monday night. Erm, unless Grey takes me to his place from the airport. But I might insist on going home to my own shower and sheets and water pillow and ergonomic keyboard. It has been a good trip overall but I have been homesick like never before. I can't wait!

Chomp!

Honestly, sometimes India makes me miserable. I would have slept well but I got bitten three times: twice on the chin and once on the arm. I don't know where the mosquito came from since it's January (!) but naturally it would find me somehow. I'm all swollen and puffy and itchy and grumpy. Other than that, things are great. I'm online (it's dial up but surprisingly fast), I have already had my favourite dessert (rasmalai), my parent's new flat is amazing - high ceilings, marble floors, spa-style bathrooms - if a bit cavernous for just two of us. And we've already talked to the important people so hopefully today will be good, whenever we figure out what we're doing exactly.

We booked our tickets to Calcutta for Monday afternoon. I somehow have to find a way to tell my grandfather that I won't be staying with him because A has rented a flat close to her ailing grandmother. When there are this many people to coordinate with, things get much more difficult. Today will likely be the reverse. We have no real plans. I'm hoping to do some shopping but it's Sunday and I never know in Asia when things are going to be open. In Hong Kong, everything was open on Christmas Eve and most things were open Christmas Day and Boxing Day. Even the grocery store was open til 10 pm on Christmas Day. It was great, actually. For those of us who don't celebrate and feel like we're misisng out, it was good to get all of my errands done. It didn't feel like a special day at all until we went out with some friends for dinner.

One thing I wanted to mention after my last post was the food on Cathay Pacific. It was actually excellent. My dad's omelette, hash brown and sausage was decent as far as plane food goes. But I chose the Indian vegetarian option (because I'm allergic to eggs - have I mentioned that before?) and it was good. I mean, it was comparable to street food in any Little India anywhere in the world. It may have even been as good as real Indian food from India! I was very impressed. And the service on CP is as good as I remember. My dad can be a pretty surly old man sometimes and the flight attendants accommodated his every grunted request for water and a newspaper.

In the absence of familia drama, I have discovered a new source of anxiety. How will I manage to travel in India on my own when my parents are gone? Sometimes I doubt that I will come here when there is no longer anyone left to visit. But worse, what happens when my parents want to travel here and I have to be the responsible one? The one who arranges for a driver to pick us up a the airport, instructs the cook and housekeeper, orders the water and makes sure the flat is livable? I am having to do some of that already because my dad is approaching 70 and apparently just barely manages to muddle through these things now. Even finding the keys to the locker at the bank took a half hour phone call to my mother and an extensive search of all of the locked cupboards in the bedrooms. Sigh. I can't worry about that now but I'm going to have to learn the language at some point. And make some of my own connections so that I'm not completely at a loss when I do have to be the grown up.

Okay, must go respond to C le V's emails before my dad gets up.

Hong Kong International Airport

I'm at HKIA waiting for my flight and I got 30 minutes free internet access! All I had to do was buy a bottle of water which I was going to do anyway. This airport is probably one of the best places in the entire world. It's huge, for a start and the gates are connected by a rapid light rail. You can buy just about anything imaginable from chocolate to wonton soup to Chanel. I tried to buy some Duty Free alcohol for New Years Eve but I couldn't find anything that I though A and I would both enjoy. Well, champagne but I'm not sure I should put that in my checked luggage on the flight to city #3. Anyway, I digress.

This airport is amazing. I think everyone should fly through here at least once. It's efficient and pretty and clean and quiet despite the thousands and millions traveling through here daily. Even checking in is super easy. You can check your luggage up to 24 hours before your flight at one of a number of airport stations in the city. Then all you need is your boarding pass, travel documents and carry-on luggage. I have taken some photos which I will probably upload when I get home in January. I should probably go as I left my dad at the gate and he thinks I'm just buying water when I actually went to the washroom, walked around this wing of the airport and window shopped.

Curry Christmas

It's Christmas yo! My mom asked me yesterday whether I wanted her to buy a ham and roast it or something. Or just eat chicken curry leftovers from two days ago. I voted for the chicken curry leftovers. Last night, my parents and I went to one of the ubiquitous tourist night markets with my friend, The Actress, from high school, her parents and another close family friend, Mr K. It was pretty fun actually. I got used to all of the crowds very quickly but my lungs and sinuses are definitely suffering from the poor air quality. It's still a little chilly here but The Actress' mother was trying to convince me they were swimming in the ocean last weekend because it was so hot. Figures I would bring the cold Canuck weather with me!

I didn't buy anything but The Actress bought a lot of useless junk. Grey asked me to look for Coach for his assistant and I did find a couple that I liked but I have no idea what she might want since I've never met her. We didn't walk back through the market (basically a lane) so I didn't go back for the purse. I have lots of time though so I can go back there in January if I decide that's what I want to buy.

I got an email from Capitaine le Vomi. He started it off "hello sweatheart". Not sure if that was a typo or intentional. He said he was looking forward to my coming back. Is that the same as telling me he misses me? As far as I'm concerned, he's as far away now as he was before for all the talking and visiting we've ever done. Plus I'm still not sure I can overlook the vomit weekend fiasco yet.

Anyway, I'm getting off the computer now before the 'rentals barge in and wonder what the heck blogger is. The mortification if they ever found this private, online journal! Plans for today include pjs and tv. Plans for tomorrow include dinner with a long lost and very close friend from high school. She's nuts but I have a feeling we'll connect just like old times.

Jet lag brain

Jet lag sucks. I was hoping to stay up til at least 10 pm but I don't think that's going to happen. Granted, the documentary on the Amazon River wasn't helping. So just a quick post and then I'm going to put in my ear plugs and go to bed. When I woke up this morning, I was still anxious. Likely only getting 1.5 hours sleep didn't help any. But by the time I got to the gate and wrote a few words in my journal, I was actually looking forward to the trip. Not the flight, although it wasn't that bad and I slept quite a lot. I was even looking forward to seeing my parents at the airport which is unusual enough to warrant mentioning. However, my mother decided not to come to the airport so it was just me and my dad. That's okay too. It took us a good hour at least to get home and driving around this city was harrowing, just as I remember it. My dad suggested that I try driving his car but I won't. Not least because it's the wrong side of the road (the right side, actually) but also because it's a nice car and everything is crazy here. My heart was in my mouth the entire ride home which just goes to show how quickly you can get used to "better" conditions. I was born and raised here so I should be used to it. I'll get used to it again quickly. I always do.

After I got here, I spent an hour on the phone with A. It helps to be closer in time zones although she hasn't got over her jetlag and she's been in this half of the world for over a week now. Then in the evening, my mother dragged me over to a neighbour's. They moved shortly after my parents moved but they were our neighbours since I was in Grade 5. I took french classes and ballet classes with their older daughter but hadn't seen her in 15 years. It was weird. She's different. I must be too. Not sure if I'll be seeing her again this week. I can't believe tomorrow is Christmas Eve. We have to keep reminding ourselves that we might not be able to do everything we want to because things might close early. Then again, they might not. We were thinking of going to the night market tomorrow. Grey asked me to find out how much Coach purses went for in this part of the world for his administrative assistant so I might have to do some shopping. But what I really want is to stay "home" and do nothing.

A couple of you have asked where "home" is. I was going to tell you but let's play a guessing game. I'll drop hints and you can make some edumacated deductions. But I have to confess, I made a mistake with the flight time. It was actually closer to 16 hours from Toronto.

Milestone passed

Is it pathetic that I was sad that I had nobody to help me carry balloons, birthday cake and leftovers up from the underground parking today? I found it overwhelming to be the centre of attention at my birthday "party". On top of having to control my temper with my mother and failing miserably at that early in the evening, being inhibited by her presence was just exhausting. But I am very touched that three of my girlfriends went to such efforts on a Monday evening. I had pink balloons, pink cake and a gift card for the mall. I am debating actually purchasing this outfit.

Okay the website is taking forever. Let's just say it's an outrageously HAWT pant suit. Yes people, I said a pant suit. The pants and the top are actually attached! The thing is, I put it on and looked totally smoking. I am thinking of spending $140 I don't have on the damn thing. I had to walk over to the men's section of the store to have my ass scanned as the bar code had fallen off and every single male head turned to stare. That has never happened to me before. Two guys walked by and said "that's beautiful". That has happened before though ;)

So I walked away knowing that it would still be there tomorrow. I might go to a different store to visit it again. Maybe take a friend.

Other than that, the day was relatively uneventful. I went to pick up my gift from the Government of Ontario. They charged me $134 for my vehicle registration renewal which was charming. I must remember to put the sticker on next time I drive my car. Then I came home after much fruitless shopping for a not-black dress for Baby's wedding (her mother is superstitious so I thought I would make an effort to at least look for another dress). Talked to X on the phone for a while about Halloween, weddings and random crap.

Tomorrow I really must pretend to work on my thesis. Pilates class in the evening is followed by a "meet" - I am no longer referring to them as dates - with another random PoF guy. We talked on the phone and he sounded normal. Not that that's an indication of anything, clearly. Also, one of the guys from Saturday night sent me a fb message. Yay the miracle worked! But it was the cute one, not the chemical one. Sigh. Oh well, it's early yet in dating time right? Maybe he'll reach out later in the week.

Just got an email from my former Valentine. Do normal people consider 256 a nice round number? Hell yes! I must come up with a new name for him.

Halloween schmalloween

Definitely this "holiday" is overrated. Someone please remind me to skip it next year. Baby and I spent most of the afternoon scouring stores for candy. Costco ran out. Walmart ran out. We had to go to Shopper's Drug Mart and their shelves were pretty bare by the time we got there at 5.30. Baby probably spent around $100 on candy and snack crap (Welsh's fruit chews, Reese's Snacksters, individual bags of Ruffles) from Costco and we ran out! Yes, that's right, we ran out of damn candy at about 8.30. I even had to give away the reserve stash I bought just for myself which sucks. Oh well, I need candy like I need another hole in my head.

We definitely had over 200 kids come by her house and it was overwhelming. Especially the older kids and teenagers who we had to turn away at the end so that we had candy left for the littlest kids. They were pretty cute and I understand dressing them up to go visit the neighbours. But some of the "kids" were bigger than me. Okay fine, I'm not that big myself but still. The worst was the 50-something year old woman who ran up to the door with her kids with her bag out. I gave her a pretty dirty look (good thing they're not my neighbours!) and she gave me a sheepish giggle. I still gave her candy but I wish I hadn't. Christ, some people have no shame. Delorean said she was probably going to sell it at her store later.

Anyway, after that we ordered pizza and sat in the dark until 10 pm. Then we went downtown for a drink at Milestone's. Man, it was insane. I have never seen downtown that busy in all my years of living in this city. I have to admit that I don't understand dressing up to go out clubbing. Maybe I'm just not very creative but I can't imagine spending time, energy and money on a costume that I'll wear once and then freeze my ass off standing in line to get into a club. I don't stand in line to get into clubs on regular days, let alone when I'm wearing a damn costume. I'm sure cover was jacked up last night. And there were some pretty outrageous costumes out there last night.

Anyway, I'm having lunch at A's parent's house and then driving my mother to her next port of call which happens to be the apartment of my favourite septuagenarians kitty corner to my place. "Fortunately" I seem to have lost my spare key.

Parental units

I was a big ball of anxiety for most of the day. While I couldn't motivate myself to actually get out of bed and do some real work, I did spend the better part of the day worrying about not finishing my thesis on time, running out of money, moving out of my fabulous apartment and having to endure enforced curfews and meal times at A's parents house.

Okay, I'm being facetious. They have been very generous in their offer to let me stay as long as I need to and I may very well take them up on their offer in January. Ideally, I would stay here until I am finished my thesis because I am a giant control freak and also a huge fan of complete, utter, buzzing silence. I haven't lived with another living being for the past 4 years and I don't want to start now. Especially my best friend's parents and another high school friend (who moves in whenever they go away for the winter). I'm grumpy and I like my freedom to be grumpy whenever and however I like.

I talked to my parents for 45 minutes on the phone about this and we've come to a decision. I have to give 60 days notice to vacate so I have until November 1 to make a decision. That means I have 6 weeks to work like a mad woman on my thesis and also work as much as humanly possible while working on said thesis to make some money. If, by November 1, I feel that I can submit my thesis and defend by the end of the year, then I will give notice to leave this apartment at the end of December. I will put all of my crap in storage and move into A's parents house for whatever time I need to spend here in January.

If, on November 1, I cannot defend this year, I will make a decision based on my finances. I will hopefully know by then whether or not I can afford 55% of my monthly rent. The parents have agreed to contribute 45% of my rent for January, February and March if that happens. I have already paid the last month's rent so that will either take care of December or April. If I can't afford to pay for my share of the rent, the same decision will apply.

So, barring unforeseen tire contingencies, this is the plan. Work my ass off until Halloween and hopefully buy myself either a thesis defense for Christmas or another semester in this apartment.

I'm not sure how I'm going to manage Baby and Delorean's wedding in November but that appears to be under control for the most part. There is a bridal shower and bachelorette party to organize but those shouldn't take up that much time, hopefully.

I actually feel better having talked to my parents. I can safely say that this is the first time in my adult life that I have felt this way. Perhaps I had only to admit that I'm not infallible, that I was worried and anxious and didn't know what to do.

Planetary Perturbation

I think the planets are aligned today. Or misaligned. Or something.

I had a full Sunday and only felt lonely for a few scattered moments here and there.

This morning I had dim sum as a thank you for planning yesterday's baby shower. Then I went shopping for wedding dresses. Which, can I just say, is so much fun when you can make someone else try on a bunch of wedding dresses regardless of whether they're hideous or gorgeous. And this evening I had dinner with old family friends. Well, they're friends of my parents. But it was nice. It felt like having my own family and I had some awesome home cooking.

There were three families. My parents aren't visiting this summer but usually there are four sets of parents and two kids. The first set of parents belongs to my best friend A. She and I finished high school together here so I've only known them for about 15 years. The second set of parents are here visiting their son. He is a couple of years older than me and our parents have known each other for our entire lives. He even condescended to speak to me a couple of times today. He passed me grapes, let me put my glass of wine on the table without a coaster and said he would email me about his trip to Vancouver next weekend. More progress!

The third set of parents are my favourite. They are spirited and highly educated and fun and funny. They are the oldest - both over 75, I think - and they are the ideal old married couple. They make fun of each other, they complete each others' sentences, they interrupt each other, their non-verbal communication is seamless. I think they are actually still in love. If I can't have that, I don't want to get married.

And, when I got home tonight, I discovered I had missed a Skype call and two MSN messages from Grey. I didn't reply to any of them and I don't think that I will.

Blarg

Presentation: not-so-great
Next meeting not for a month: good
Evening spent with Piglet's mom: just what I needed
Conversation with B: frustrating
Email from X re his dad's reaction to the card I wrote to his mother: made me cry. His mother liked it but it made his dad cry.
Sinuses: phlegmy
General feeling tonight: exhausted, crunched for time, unable to help where I want to the most, lonely.

I am responsible for my feelings. I am going to bed. Things will be better when I wake up in 8 hours. If only because I will be less exhausted.

Can't sleep for worrying

One of our friends insisted on picking up X at the airport. Let's call this friend John. John has always been somewhat pushy and insensitive. But I can never stay mad at him. So I'm sitting here stewing that he has taken away the one thing I could have done to help X right now. I doubt I'll ever tell him that. Instead, I'll just meet them at the airport, give X a hug and send a card home to his mother so that she knows I'm thinking of them everyday. Like now, when I should be lying in bed imagining B spooning me to help me fall asleep. Instead I think of X's dad, lying in that hospital room with a bedpan, unable to sit up, disoriented with a long battle of chemo and physio and dependency ahead. It just breaks my heart.

This the card I just wrote to X's mother...

I've never been very good at articulating myself so I just wanted to write you this quick card to tell you that, even though I have never officially been part of your family, all of you have always meant a great deal to me, sometimes even more than my own family. I don't think I have ever told you that I never understand the importance of family until I spent my first Thanksgiving at your house. So, even if I'm not around or able to actually help, I'll be here thinking and worrying and waiting and hoping right along with you.

Short

I have to be up in 4 hours to drive to a conference two hours away. Skype was uncooperative tonight. We couldn't get started on a conversation before the connection dropped. There are so many things that I want to say to him. Like, when he tells me that he wants to make me a part of his family, I want to say that it would be such an honour and a privilege but I can't make it come out at all in case it sounds pompous and insincere. I think I should just wait and say it in person. I want him to know how much it would mean to me. I miss his parents.

He's coming!

He's really coming. He actually booked a flight today. I can't believe he's coming for 12 days. He'll be here in 36 days. I have to admit, after all the credit card drama over the last few days, I didn't think it was going to happen. But he said he would come and he is.

I have spent the last few days telling people about everything that has happened. I even told my mother (!) and she didn't freak out. She apparently hadn't mentioned it to my dad because he didn't bring it up when he called tonight. I didn't say anything to him because he sounded upset and anxious about money and stuff. I guess he'll be the last to know. In terms of the important people in my life, I think there are very few people left to tell.

My Valentine took it badly. I could tell he was angry because he got very quiet and then basically hung up on me. I can't believe that I entertained the idea of being with him for such a long time with so little in return. I wonder if he regrets telling me that he didn't want to visit me because he was afraid we would end up in a relationship? I'm starting to wonder if everything that went before was just to bring me to this point.

Here is a snippet of conversation from late last night.
On my parents' approval:
B: "I'd really like if your parents approved of this."
Me: "Don't hold out for my parents' approval. It's not in my mother's nature to approve of anything. She's not satisfied unless she's judging and criticizing someone else..."
B: "Well, I'm not planning on marrying them, am I?"
...(long pause in which I did a double and then triple-take)...
Me: "You said the M word."
B: "Wow, I did, didn't I? And I didn't even flinch. What have you done to me? I would never have noticed if you hadn't pointed it out. Wow."
Me (mental cartwheels): "I have goosebumps right now."

I bought tickets to Phantom of the Opera. It's his favourite musical. I sent him the confirmation email so he'll see it when he wakes up tomorrow. I hope it makes his day.