This year I have decided to be more circumspect with my verbal communication. I intend to finish my sentences and choose my words more precisely. This means slowing down (take a page from the Barack Obama interview guide!) and being more mindful of the words coming out of my brain and into the world via my mouth... which sometimes has a tendency to lag behind my thoughts to the detriment of everyone around me.
Also, I will be turning 40 in 8 years and I am going to create a list of 8 Things to Do Before I Turn 40. I haven't thought of everything yet but I figure I don't have to decide today. Here is the beginning of my list:
1. Perform on stage. This will likely be either dance or acting. The thought freaks me out but I'll get there eventually.
2. Learn a language... and then use it in that country. I'm thinking Italian at the moment.
3. Discipline and love another creature. I'm thinking puppy but I suppose I might accidentally get pregnant and have a little MiniMsB.
4. See my photo on a wall. Not my own wall.
5. Live in another country. I have my sights set on Melbourne, Australia in 2011.
...
Got any New Year's Resolutions you would like to share?
Showing posts with label dancing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dancing. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
Anti-douchebag
MFV just left. We had a really great weekend. Not just because we had fun but because he is a really great guy. A good man. In fact, he is almost the man I need him to be. Amazing what three years can do to a 24 year old. Despite one long year of not speaking to each other (2007-2008), our friendship has stayed tight. I rely on him like nobody else and, this weekend, I realized what it means to have a man around who is capable of being a grown up. He took care of me which felt so good. He helped me make decisions. He was quiet when I disappeared into my thoughts. He was protective and thoughtful and responsible and considerate. I want that from a man, and the douchebags, while entertaining, pale in comparison to him.
For three years, I have missed him and loved him like my best friend. Because that's what he is. But today, I might have started to fall in love with him. Which scares me to death because I don't really know how he feels about me. He looks at me like he really sees me. He makes me laugh without really trying which is not easy with my nerdy sense of humour. I can be myself around him and it is nice not to have to keep my guard up all the time. He can even see beyond the face I present to the world to the sensitive, vulnerable person that I am hiding from everyone. It has been a long time since I could spend 48 hours with someone and not feel exhausted by their company. Which is not to say the weekend wasn't thoroughly exhausting.
Dinner on Friday at Ruth Chris to celebrate his raise and my degree was amazing. Then salsa dancing with Baby and Delorean at El Rancho. My former salsa partner has improved vastly and I frankly couldn't get enough of him. I could have danced all night...
When we got home, he kissed me and I freaked out and we talked. We talked about the past and our futures and decided that there's nothing wrong with friends fooling around. It was nice, actually. Okay, the sex wasn't mind blowing the way that it is with Grey but MFV has only been with three other women. Counting him, I am into double digits. I wonder if he will be my last.
Saturday was brunch and the Ontario Science Centre. We're a pair of giant nerds and had a really good time. Dinner at the Host with friends and then Nuit Blanche. I'll post photos later. We stayed up til 4 am walking all over downtown before my legs gave up outside the Art Gallery. We had dim sum this morning and then read the paper and had dinner on the way to the airport.
I cried when he left. I don't know if I'm just tired and overwhelmed or if this is just a passing emotional phase. I miss him. I hope we end up in geographically closer cities. I know that the ideal situation in the short-term would be here for me and NYC for him. But long-term, maybe it's better if we're both in Vancouver. Who the hell knows what he is thinking though? I suspect that I'm more than a long distance booty call but I have been wrong in the past.
He's back from Morocco at the end of October. In the meantime, I have some decisions to make about work.
For three years, I have missed him and loved him like my best friend. Because that's what he is. But today, I might have started to fall in love with him. Which scares me to death because I don't really know how he feels about me. He looks at me like he really sees me. He makes me laugh without really trying which is not easy with my nerdy sense of humour. I can be myself around him and it is nice not to have to keep my guard up all the time. He can even see beyond the face I present to the world to the sensitive, vulnerable person that I am hiding from everyone. It has been a long time since I could spend 48 hours with someone and not feel exhausted by their company. Which is not to say the weekend wasn't thoroughly exhausting.
Dinner on Friday at Ruth Chris to celebrate his raise and my degree was amazing. Then salsa dancing with Baby and Delorean at El Rancho. My former salsa partner has improved vastly and I frankly couldn't get enough of him. I could have danced all night...
When we got home, he kissed me and I freaked out and we talked. We talked about the past and our futures and decided that there's nothing wrong with friends fooling around. It was nice, actually. Okay, the sex wasn't mind blowing the way that it is with Grey but MFV has only been with three other women. Counting him, I am into double digits. I wonder if he will be my last.
Saturday was brunch and the Ontario Science Centre. We're a pair of giant nerds and had a really good time. Dinner at the Host with friends and then Nuit Blanche. I'll post photos later. We stayed up til 4 am walking all over downtown before my legs gave up outside the Art Gallery. We had dim sum this morning and then read the paper and had dinner on the way to the airport.
I cried when he left. I don't know if I'm just tired and overwhelmed or if this is just a passing emotional phase. I miss him. I hope we end up in geographically closer cities. I know that the ideal situation in the short-term would be here for me and NYC for him. But long-term, maybe it's better if we're both in Vancouver. Who the hell knows what he is thinking though? I suspect that I'm more than a long distance booty call but I have been wrong in the past.
He's back from Morocco at the end of October. In the meantime, I have some decisions to make about work.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Dancing around
Ugh. I am so weak.
I was going to write more but I don't think that I will. To make a long and unnecessary story short, I said "no" on the phone in response to his booty call and he still somehow got me over there. No sex, despite his repeated, insistent, sometimes too-assertive demands for it. Just cuddles and kisses. However, when he finally woke up in the morning (I was long gone after his log-sawing chased me out of bed), he was so wasted that he didn't even remember I had been over there. If I hadn't left a note, he wouldn't have found his key. If I hadn't texted him to look for the note, he might not have noticed it on the laptop until tomorrow. Okay, that's enough about that.
I started a belly dancing class last week and I fashioned myself a fancy hip scarf. I bought two small scarfs (black and maroon) and sewed them together to make one big one. When it is completely finished, I might even take a photo (of my ass with bells on!) and post it here for all the interweb to see.
It felt oddly domestic and reassuring to take needle and thread to fabric after many years. But now I must sleep. I have a big conference call in the morning. I will be on the client end and my boss and her boss on the office end. Scary.
I was going to write more but I don't think that I will. To make a long and unnecessary story short, I said "no" on the phone in response to his booty call and he still somehow got me over there. No sex, despite his repeated, insistent, sometimes too-assertive demands for it. Just cuddles and kisses. However, when he finally woke up in the morning (I was long gone after his log-sawing chased me out of bed), he was so wasted that he didn't even remember I had been over there. If I hadn't left a note, he wouldn't have found his key. If I hadn't texted him to look for the note, he might not have noticed it on the laptop until tomorrow. Okay, that's enough about that.
I started a belly dancing class last week and I fashioned myself a fancy hip scarf. I bought two small scarfs (black and maroon) and sewed them together to make one big one. When it is completely finished, I might even take a photo (of my ass with bells on!) and post it here for all the interweb to see.
It felt oddly domestic and reassuring to take needle and thread to fabric after many years. But now I must sleep. I have a big conference call in the morning. I will be on the client end and my boss and her boss on the office end. Scary.
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