tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3575594973949982920.post6447885590845969129..comments2023-05-24T08:38:39.116-04:00Comments on Shoes, booze and losers: a primer for the thirty-something spinster: Yakkety yak, don't talk back?Ms Behaviourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03043831820035896075noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3575594973949982920.post-26493310746710947822009-02-08T14:15:00.000-05:002009-02-08T14:15:00.000-05:00GH, I can't speak about the mano a mano teasing bu...GH, I can't speak about the mano a mano teasing but I can say this about ladies. When I tease Delorean about being sensitive, it's just my way of letting him know I appreciate and acknowledge that aspect of his character in a way that doesn't seem all emotional and sentimental. He wouldn't appreciate the resulting awkwardness. <BR/><BR/>As for people who are derisive about it, why does it matter if a guy who is secure and confident gets teased by random insecure people about his character? I guess I'm immune to this kind of bullying? Maybe because I have enough insight to understand that people who point out others' flaws are just trying to detract from their own through sleight of hand (or mouth?) <BR/><BR/>Anyway, my point was that, there's no reason to expect your husband/boyfriend/SO to interact with you the way one of your girlfriends would. Men and women are different. We should all just accept that. It would make life a lot easier. A lot of my friend's husbands are "emotionally available". They don't scoff when their wives are upset and aren't afraid to have the difficult conversations. But we still don't bombard them with "chick" crap like detailed analysis of other people's relationship woes or a breakdown of why a tv commercial made us cry. That's stuff we talk about between the girls. They don't need to be a part of it. <BR/><BR/>My point was that A has unrealistic expectations of this guy that she has only just started dating. Incidentally, he is a close friend that has never discussed her feelings or past breakups before so I can't imagine why she thought he would be more "emotionally available" now. It boggles my mind that she thinks he would be more available in a relationship when he has something invested than when they were just friends. <BR/><BR/>There is one other thing I didn't mention in this entry. It bothers me about her but I have to accept it and can only point out her flaws when she asks. She tends to take every little setback as the end of the world. He may have just said something stupid when they were talking on the phone and her attitude to that is "oh, this won't work so it's over". That drives me nuts. What happened to working on a relationship? Trying to figure out where the differences are and coming up with a solution to resolve it so you both can move forward? Honestly, it drives me nuts that people won't put even a fraction of the effort that they spend on work or at the gym or on their wardrobe into communicating with their partner. Sheesh. <BR/><BR/>Okay, end rant!Ms Behaviourhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03043831820035896075noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3575594973949982920.post-2482217139886001472009-02-08T13:47:00.000-05:002009-02-08T13:47:00.000-05:00A very good letter. Couldn't help this thought th...A very good letter. Couldn't help this thought that came to mind, though: men who are open with the whole emotional side are often accused, by both men <I>and</I> women of being "girly-men". It's a no-win scenario...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3575594973949982920.post-5837426470621904982009-02-07T09:48:00.000-05:002009-02-07T09:48:00.000-05:00You know you are really onto something here. I wi...You know you are really onto something here. I wish more females would read this letter. Although my boyfriend will listen and give advice on any of my problems. There are just some things you feel more comfortable confiding in females. <BR/>Feel better.Awkward, for youhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06984432242525849075noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3575594973949982920.post-85701380806714092482009-02-06T12:29:00.000-05:002009-02-06T12:29:00.000-05:00I think that's pretty insightful. When it becomes...I think that's pretty insightful. When it becomes apparent to me that girl talk is not intended to impart real information but has something to do with female catharsis or whatever inscrutable thing it's supposed to be, I tend to get bewildered. Then, I feel trapped. Then I remember that I left something on the stove or left a light on in the basement.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com